I'm a college senior getting ready to graduate very soon, and I've recently realized I'm a lesbian. I've been questioning my sexuality for years, but I've finally figured out that the lesbian label is the best fit for me. I'm only out to a couple of my friends and don't wear rainbows or anything, so it's probably not obvious to the general population. Anyway, this semester I met this girl who kind of turned my world around. We partnered together on some class projects and as a result got to know each other a bit. I didn't recognize it at first, but soon it became pretty clear that I was falling for her. She's so smart and funny and sweet and I have this strange, strong feeling that we should be together; I've never had that with anyone else. I think she might like me too, based on her body language and how she would say things about how she likes talking to me and stuff. I'm not entirely sure she's into girls but I'm thinking she is because of how she acted around me and because she's super stereotypically lesbian in the way she dresses and her hobbies (never wears makeup, dresses in flannel a lot, plays sports, etc.) The problem is, she's a freshman, making her about 4 years younger (legal, but a little unconventional). At first I felt weird about having feelings for someone that young, but seeing her for what might have been the last time made me feel like I had just lost something wonderful. It's been almost a week since I last saw her and still haven't been able to stop thinking about her. What should I do? Part of me wants so badly just to text her and say that I really like her and we should go out sometime, but I'm afraid that would sound creepy and desperate, plus what if I read her wrong and she's straight? I don't think she even knows that I'm gay because I have nothing about it on social media because of a homophobic family, and it didn't really come up in conversation, but I can't think of a way to tell her that I am without it being super awkward and weird.
Invite her out for a coffee sometime what's the worst she could say... No When just chat and get to know each other if it feels right you could come out to her, you need to come out to her before you tell her your feelings give her time to process or if it's going well you could say you like her as more than a friend. You've nothing to loose go for it and keep us updated
So she's about 18 and you're 22? I don't think that's such a huge age difference. I wouldn't worry about it. The only thing is that if she is into women, being younger means that she's more likely to be closeted and/or still figuring herself out. Have you added her on FB? Maybe start there. You could also just ask her to hang out in a non-date scenario and see how she reacts. Really though, dating involves some risk. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and hope for the best.
I guess the actual age difference isn't so huge, but we're at pretty different stages in life.. it might be tough if we did start dating and I had to move away for a job or something and she was still in school. But I really do get the feeling that we could be great together. As far as being closeted, I'm still closeted to my family, too, so we could take that on together. Like I said, I think she might like me, too, but the thing I'm most worried about is coming across as desperate for pursuing someone several years younger. I wish I could just get over that fear.
Update: basically a rejection. Asked her to hang out and she said she's super busy but maybe. I'm going through a lot in my life right now and this is kind of a blow but I'll get past it at some point.
