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How to be support without smothering?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by A Mindful Wolf, Apr 26, 2016.

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  1. A Mindful Wolf

    A Mindful Wolf Guest

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    I have a friend who took a few years to finally accept himself, but he's going through a rough patch in his life now (partly related to his sexuality, but not entirely) and doing a lot of stupid things (a lot of hookups, going to other homes, even spending the night in other countries!). It's also affecting his health I can see.
    I don't know what to do...I WANT to just hug him and let him spill it all out, but we have a pretty emotional history and I don't want to open any of those doors right now. I'm afraid that I'll smother him, but I think he has nobody else right now.
    What's the best approach?
     
    #1 A Mindful Wolf, Apr 26, 2016
  2. Kevin240

    Kevin240
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    Under those circumstances, I think you might need to take a low key approach. Make sure he knows that you're there for him if he needs you. Tell him that if he wants to talk you're there to listen. I totally understand the urge to just hug him and somehow make things right. But, as you said, that could open up a lot of doors that you're not ready to venture through. It's a hard situation, watching someone you care about engaging in self-destructive behavior. The thing is to be a friend, offer to listen, offer support and advice if he asks, but don't let yourself get totally immersed in his pain.
     
    #2 Kevin240, Apr 26, 2016
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