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My crush is gay, but I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Zaphtou, Apr 29, 2016.

  1. Zaphtou

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    I have a crush on a very smart, nice, and cute guy, who I know through a mutual friend that he is definitely gay, but I don't really know what to do now... I've never gotten this far before...

    I only know him because I TA in a class he's in, so I haven't had too much opportunity to talk to him. He doesn't know me very well, he certainly doesn't know I'm gay (unless my friend told him), but I honestly can't (and don't want to, considering I have a real chance with him) get over him...

    My friend has suggested that she invite him to hang out with our friends or something so that we have a real chance to interact. I went through a brief period where I wanted to just tell him over snapchat, but my friend convinced me that that was a bad idea.

    Should I have my friend invite him something? Should I try and make friends with him on my own? Should I just tell him? I'm honestly so lost, I need some advice.
     
  2. DalBCN

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    Alright, let me preface this by saying that I've been drinking..

    But..

    WTF? You have a crush on a gay guy you like. You've gotten over the biggest hill us gays face (is this guy gay?). Just get to know him. If he seems receptive, get his number. Literally just say... "hey, let's hang out sometime." If he says "yes" or anything similar to that.. Then say "okay, can I get your number?" He will say yes, if you get to this point. If you don't get to "this point," he's just not into you.

    But fear not, at least now your pick up game is stronger.

    Look at how far I got with a straight guy.
    High risk = high reward and that's why I go after bi/questioning guys. I know I can get gay guys. It's kinda boring, and easy.. I'd say this is low risk, with a chance of reward. You got this, if he's truely gay.

    GL bro.
     
    #2 DalBCN, Apr 29, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2016
  3. Zaphtou

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    Thanks for the advice! I honestly really needed that. One problem I can see though, is I don't have my license yet (I'm planning on getting that in the next few months, but the school year might be over by then), so unless I can get a friend to cover for me (I'm not out to my parents), I won't have a way to go out with him really. I could ask my brother or sister (who I recently came out to), but that could get a little awkward.
     
  4. Kevin240

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    I think that the least awkward scenario would be to let your friend invite him to hang out or whatever...then you could get to know him in a more relaxed, natural situation. I agree with your friend, just telling him online might not be the best approach. And it might be a bit awkward to try to approach him in class. But if your friend invites him to hang out, you'll have a more relaxed chance to talk to him. Just my opinion, but that's what I'd do.
     
  5. DalBCN

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    Oh, wow, you're still in high school it sounds like. Sounds like the best case is asking your brother or sister. You're already out to them. Being gay is awkward. But guess what, so is anything that's important in life. Be it a job interview, or starting a potential relationship. Deal with that awkwardness now, and even if you don't get a bf out of this situation, you'll be more comfortable with your sexuality and how to work with it. That will help your love life, and life, in general.

    Do NOT tell him online or on Snap. I would never do that to someone, mostly because I would hate if someone did that to me (and people have).
     
    #5 DalBCN, Apr 29, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2016
  6. R M

    R M
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    maybe give him little signs that youre interested? You should def. invite him and try to get closer to him and ask him to hang out together once you two are closer friends
     
  7. resu

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    Wait, are you still TA'ing a current class he's in? That could open a can of worms. It's a little better if he is finished with that class.
     
  8. CharacterStudy

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    Not sure what a TA in a High School's status is, and whether this would cause any issues.

    But if that's all fine, then I think the idea of your friend inviting him out with a few of you is the best bet. Finding out he's gay is, admittedly, one hurdle you don't have to jump, but just because he's gay doesn't necessarily mean he's keen on you.

    Put it like this - you are currently at the stage where most straight people start, i.e. the assumption he has the potential to be interested, but no knowledge if he is actually interested in you specifically. You say you haven't really talked to him, so to know whether you are really interested, and to give him a chance to get to know you, you need to get to know him better in a relaxed environment.

    And this approach may also help with your parents, if you are not ready to come out to them. If he is a friend to start with, your parents won't notice much if you hang out with him.