As a big believer in "don't shit where you eat" I've always kept things strictly professional at work. I have not confirmed nor denied my orientation with colleagues. But then few months ago, this new guy joined my team. He's nice, smart and gay (he admitted that to the team). Over the course of the last few months, we work together and got to know him better and then things are getting blurry: - He's an introvert so during team gatherings he's almost silent but is a lot more chatty at a one on one settings. We had a few dinners/drinks. - We text a lot... chats have expanded from just work stuff to personal life stuff (like past relationship/mundane life happenings) after working hours. - the guy doesn't know for sure I'm gay i heard from other colleagues he's observing me. - Recently he and I had a chance to go out of town for a meeting. We ended up spending the weekend together which included a movie and some sightseeing on a ferris wheel. I can admit I am developing a crush for the guy but it's all very confusing to me. Does the guy like me or am I just imagining things that aren't there? Is he just being friendly with his boss at his new job? My gut (and point 3) tells me there's something more but this whole boss-subordinate relationship is making it complicated. More to the point... what does one do about it? Even i ask and the answer is no (it's awkward) and if the answer is yes, then the company will require the relationship to be declared. Any advice/thoughts appreciated! :bang:
I was in the corporate world and dating a subordinate is definitely not something you want to do. You're in a very tricky situation something I'm very glad I never had to worry about. You don't want to get involved and put your job at risk. The HR logistics are a nightmare.
Before we got together, my husband worked for a small architectural firm and developed a relationship with his boss. They were discreet about it at work...at least they thought they were...but everyone knew. It caused bad feelings among other employees, who felt my husband was getting preferential treatment (he wasn't...if anything, the boss was harder on him than on anyone else). It was supposed to be a casual, FWB, NSA relationship. But when my husband and I first got together and decided we wanted to give a committed relationship a try, his boss went batcrap crazy My husband ended up leaving a job he loved because the situation had become intolerable. Relationships at work are pretty much a bad idea...but when it involves a boss-employee dynamic, it's much worse. I'm sorry...I know this isn't the answer you want to hear. But the balance of power creates so many issues. If you decide to go for it, just be forewarned. And maybe consider...would this relationship be worth sacrificing your job?
I was in a similar situation very recently, except I was the introverted guy. I'm all for embracing love if it's there, but just be prepared for the fallout IF things go awry. It's really annoying/awkward in an office environment when this happens...
