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no sex in the relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by 0110, May 2, 2016.

  1. 0110

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    I have not had sex in a long time: cannot even remember the last time I had sex with my boyfriend--maybe around a year ago. I do not have any desire to have sex with anyone. Once in a while I get horny and I masturbate.

    Have no idea why my boyfriend continues to want to be in a relationship with me because he would love to have sex every day. We live together.

    ---------- Post added 2nd May 2016 at 12:18 PM ----------

    In addition, the times my boyfriend and I did have sex in our relationship of almost 5 years, I did it because he enjoys it and not because I desired it.
     
    #1 0110, May 2, 2016
    Last edited: May 2, 2016
  2. Yosia

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    Probably because he loves you. Sex doesn't mean everything to everyone, and a lot of people are happy to go without sex if their partners don't want to.
     
  3. Matto_Corvo

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    This is very true
     
  4. R M

    R M
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    A relationship isnt all about sex. If he didnt love you, he would have already left you. He probably wouldnt care if you didnt have sex, he loves youn not only the sex part
     
  5. Euler

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    Is this lack of sexual desire something that has recently developed? Meaning that at one point in your life you had a sex drive that could be reasonably described as normal but you no longer have it?
     
  6. smurf

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    Talk about it. Ask him if this is a concern of him at all. Maybe, like everyone else mentioned, sex isn't a big part of the realtionship for them and they are totally okay with it

    This is clearly bothering you, so I would highly suggest tackling it instead of hoping that everything is okay.
     
  7. JonSomebody

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    I'm sorry but maybe I look at this from a whole different angle. For me, I could not be in a relationship with someone especially living with them and we do not engage in any sexual activity. I do agree with having an open, honest conversation with him to find out what is the status of this relationship and what is expected from it? If he wants a platonic relationship and you guys are just friends, then so be it. Nonetheless, you need to find out what is going on with him. He might be interested in someone else where he could be hoping you would end the relationship to make things easier. Just talk to him and find out where you stand.
     
  8. sebes

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    you may want to speak with a professional about this. sex is an important facet of a relationship and it can foster closeness and deeper connections. its also a healthy way of releasing stress. i know some of my friends who are older have had treatments for decreased libido. next time you are horny, instead of jacking off you can save some of that love juice for a fun sexual encounter. but talk to a therapist or doctor. in my relationship, when my bf wants sex i usually get him off within 12 hours regardless of how i feel. i havent had too many orgasms that i didn't like :slight_smile:. best of luck to you!
     
    #8 sebes, Jul 27, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2016
  9. Brytaleith

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    Nobody can tell you what your boyfriend think or why he continues to be in a relationship with you except your boyfriend.

    The importance of sex in a relationship varies from relationship to relationship. So far, no sex seems to have worked for you. However, communication is also very important in a relationship and if you are having any doubts or worries about it, you should talk to your boyfriend, because you are both in this relationship together.