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Another in love with my ''straight'' best friend?? Help asap :x

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by anonymous1986, May 5, 2016.

  1. anonymous1986

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    OK guys and girls,

    I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.

    I'll keep it short.

    Best friends since highschool. Now 30 years old we became roomates for some months now. We've been through a lot together. It's a special ''brotherly'' relationship.

    We both had a couple of straight relationships. I don't consider my self gay. I don't think I'm bi either. But for certainty I'm not 100% straight. After years of questioning. I think I start identifying my self as demisexual or pansexual or w.e in those lines. Also all my straight relationships have been really on an emotional level. I won't search for sex if there is no meaning. Can't sure how to explain.
    I don't see my self doing anything with guys. I don't want to. But he is the only guy I would surely experiment with with the right circumstances.

    I found out that I masturbate on the thought of my friend. (for years). I search for pictures online of naked guys that have the same body type as him. This thing has gone on and off. Really builds up when I'm single.

    Since we became roomates we are closer now. Sharing everything, food, gym same working hours sleep hours. watch movies together. Before he moved in most of the time we hanged out with all our mutual friends. Now we prefer to be alone mostly. But still we do the same shit we do as friends. We text a lot etc.

    I started to believe he is closeted I don't know why. Maybe because I want him not to be completely straight.
    Some days ago he told me he is sapiosexual.

    We talked about our dicks etc. We even slept on the same bed some years ago.

    I ''accidentally'' saw his dick recently. (Its not at all that big he was talking about sometimes). But for me its like perfect lol.... (WTF :S)

    He likes shoes, fashion (not in the extreme though). He has lots of woman friends lately. He talks about gay people a lot. Most of the time making fun of them especially if the other guys are there. But I know he doesn't mean it. He was also very touchy since we where young. He even grabbed my dick a few times, licked my ear for the laughs, rubbing my nipple etc etc. Those kind of shit. He also started walking around shirtless in the apartment, he made me touch his belly and stuff talking how cool it is. He farted and asked me if I like the smell lol. He also jokes around about gay stuff like. I don't like small cigars only big ones and has a laugh.
    He leaves his cum rug next to his bed always since we became roomates. In general there are lots of signs here and there. And I can really feel some kind of strong sexual tension very often.

    Although I will never risk telling him anything and ruin the friendship. Sometimes I think It won't because we are so cool with each other. I care for him and he cares for me.

    I don't know man this is so fucking confusing. What the fuck do I do? Please help :x
     
    #1 anonymous1986, May 5, 2016
    Last edited: May 5, 2016
  2. anonymous1986

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    Comment please... :/
     
  3. PrettyinPunk

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    In my opinion, I think you should just be honest and tell him how you feel. He could be flirting with you, or since you're so close with each other he might just be really comfortable around you. You two have known each other so long do you think he'd end your friendship just because you like him? Even if he doesn't feel the same?
    You could try talking about lgbt subjects to see how he responds. Gage his personal stance on it better.

    It might be risky confessing your feelings but are you able to keep being around your friend constantly without going crazy?
     
  4. Alexrocks1253

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    Just be honest with him. If he's really a friend that close to you, he'll understand. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Alexrocks1253, May 8, 2016
    Last edited: May 8, 2016
  5. resu

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    Your options are to continue what you're doing and get even more frustrated or try and do something about your suspicions and get clarity. If you want to get clarity, you need to find if he is really joking and the flirtation is not serious or if he has genuine feelings. It's good you two are alone a lot so he doesn't feel pressure from others to act macho.

    One thing you could do is bring up an LGBT news story and ask his opinion in a serious way (i.e. don't let him get away with a homophobic joke). Or, discuss your own ideas about sexuality so he feels comfortable not putting on a "straight mask" (i.e. you believe some people could be pansexual, or you would be open to experimenting with the right guy...). Also, you could find a third person like a mutual friend who would give you some advice on what he's feeling about you.
     
  6. anonymous1986

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    First of all thank you for the replies. I appreciate it a lot.

    Sometimes I get paranoid over it when i smoke weed. I guess I don't go crazy because I'm still not sure what exactly am i feeling. I mean the attraction goes on and off. Some years ago I described this as just a 'weird' fantasy that turns me on.

    I'll try to keep cool from now on I think. I wouldn't risk anything just yet. But yeah if a conversation pops along the way about what resu said maybe I'll go along with it and learn more about him.

    Sometimes I just feel its all in my head and that I wouldn't really act on anything (specifically on this case).

    thank you again for your replies.