My older sisters homophobia is so intense it breaks me. She knows I'm gay but ignores the fact that I am and forces heterosexuality on me and assumes that me being gay is a phase but I realized I was when I was about 12 and started identifying as a lesbian when I was 14... She thinks gay is being a choice and gay people "freak people out" and just in general dehumanizes gay people. I always saw myself as not being affected by homophobia and being unbothered by people who are like that but my sister attacking and bullying my lifestyle brings me to tears because she feeds off of bullying me. I honestly can't handle the bullying because I don't know that many people who are gay too and I'm so alone and have no one to talk to. My dad died a half a year ago, and he was homophobic but he never brought it up that often. I feel like my sister is treating me the way she is because our father was a homophobe and she's trying to live up to his expectations/do him proud.... By relentlessly making me feel horrible for who I am. Will talking to someone like a counselor help because I'm so lonely in this situation and I'm letting the way my sister treats me get to me?
This is terrible and I'm sorry you have to go through it. Your idea to speak to someone is an excellent one. Do you have someone in mind? Is there someone at school or at a local LGBT centre? Maybe a school nurse can refer you to someone? What does your mum think of your sister's behaviour? In the meantime, you might try giving your sister the silent treatment. If she can't get a rise out of you, she might give up. Hopefully. Because, as you say, she feeds off your reaction. You sound very in tune with what is going on, I definitely think you could benefit from speaking to someone.
