Am I going right with this relationship? - I guess I wouldn't nessesarily put it that way. I'm in this relationship, we've been dating for a month, and I truly love this girl. Maybe I'm only asking because I've never been in a "healthy" relationship and want to know if I'm fucking up anything. Me and this girl, we are in a long distance relationship, not as bad as some. She's only two hours away, but with work, and school. We see each other once a week. In the beginning, it was different because we went to a park together for a date. I thought for the longest time a date was a expensive dinner and a movie ticket, so it was very different, and we were at this park, looking at the trees and laughing. We observed the nature that surrounded us and it felt so amazing to do something different. Our relationship isn't perfect. That's exactly what I don't want it to be. I want it to be comfortable with some flaws. We do fight, but we fight respectfully. It never lasts long. I used to scared of her leaving, and I used to scream "well if you don't like it, leave" because I expected her to, I was scared to let her in and she would say "no. That's not what I do" , and it was different, so each time, we fought, we would become closer. We would understand eachother more, and we would open up more. When we first started dating, she gave me a journal, and told me to write my thoughts down in it, but I had a better idea. I told her that I'll write in the journal, and then next time I see her, she would write in it, and ever since then, we've been telling eachother how we feel in that journal as well outside the journal. For my birthday, she gave me a project to do. She printed out pictures she took of where we went. Like when we went to the moutains, and when we got lost, and just photos of places we went together. And also put pictures of my mom (who passed away 6 years ago) and of my dog. And other things and told me to write down something important about each photo and that she would do the same. She also gave me stuff to decorate the box with , and I added more stuff to it, and she loved it. So we have a project to work on while we are away from each other When we do fight, it's mainly about my family, and my depression. She doesn't like the fact, I hide the fact I'm severely depressed from her even though she also understands that it takes time to open up with her about things, and with my family, I have to keep in touch with my sister, to pay off the car and my sister always puts me down and she hates that but we don't really fight about it. It's more like a disagreement, and kind acknowledging the rights and wrongs. And then we simmer down, and come to mutual understanding. She doesn't like that I smoke and wants to help me smoke less but isn't forcing me which is nice. She doesn't like the fact I like to drink alone, but that's obvious. She knows it's not good for me and I know it's not good for me either so I tend to avoid alcohol all together because it's a trigger for my depression We are always there for each other. Always. She tells me what's wrong, and I tell her what's wrong too. We talk about mild or heavy drama in out lives, and listen to each other. And try to give an opinion or thought. We listen to eachother, and I find that really great that we do that. We also respect each other's space pretty well although I admit, I'm not always the best at it. And she kind of knows it hahaah but when we need time to ourselves, we do that. I hang out with my bet friend and roommate , and she does her school work, and talks to her family. We talk on the phone at least 2 in the day, and sometimes only at night. When we do talk, we laugh at stupid things, and just talk about little things about our day and our plans then we let each other go. I feel safe with her. I feel so comfortable. I've let go of all of my fears, and just let myself be happy with her. It's weird to me to be in a relationship that feels comfortable. You know? It won't be perfect but again I don't want our relationship to be that way. I want it to be comfortable and safe. I guess I'm new to this. Not being in love, but feeling safe and comfortable in a relationship. I've never had that. I'm just use to people leaving but she's proven so much to me. And guess just wanted to know If you guys had any thoughts or advice on what I just said??
This sounds really sweet ;____________; The things you do for each other...just wow, I never even thought of any of those things She sounds great, and the two of you sound like you are good to each other.
It took a while to get to this point honestly. But we are making work and I'm so happy with her. I just hope I'm doing it right
There is no single way to "do" relationships. Don't worry about whether you're doing it "right" or not. If it makes you happy and if it works for you... that's what counts. For what it's worth, it sounds like you two are making a lot of efforts to communicate and compromise. You care about each other and aren't afraid to show it, but you also give each other space when needed. I think you two are figuring out the relationship thing just fine. No one is perfect, but a decent amount of respect for the other person goes a long way, and you two have that. Enjoy.
Thank you. I'm not someone who does realtionships usually. I had a lot of one night stands and i didn't expect to fall in love with this girl, and have so many wonderful things happens and I guess I'm use to people telling what to look for in a relationship ya know?
