Can't decide if I did the right thing

Hey EC, I'm back again looking for advice because you have all been super helpful in the past. Some of you may remember me, but here is a bit of a backstory.

I started my first relationship ever (with another guy) about 4 years ago (there is a thread on here that goes into great detail about the relationship). We started as just 2 dudes hooking up without any intentions to date another guy. Turns out we got along really well, and feeling began to develop - so we began a relationship. However, about a month and a half ago, I decided to end the relationship after posting how I was feeling on here and getting some advice from all of you.

The reason I decided to end it was because I couldn't control my urges - I was becoming obsessed with thinking about what it would be like to try hooking up with other guys. I had only been with my ex-bf sexually, and the curiosity of what else was out there was starting to eat away at me. It even got to the point where I cheated on him a few times. I ended up telling him about each of these times, and although he was very upset, he still wanted to be with me. I was afraid I would continue to cheat on him again, so I felt I had to end it.

I was very honest with my ex bf about why I felt the need to end things. It was my curiosity, coupled with something else... I had started to grow less attracted to him towards the end of the relationship. Perhaps he wasn't taking as much care of his body, or perhaps he was just getting older, but I just didn't find him as sexy as when we first met (I was recently able to confirm this after seeing a picture of him from when we first met).

Now at this point, I should just accept things and move on right?

Well, I find this is not as easy as it sounds. I still have very strong feelings for this guy, we really get along fantastically. I'm not sure I will ever find a guy I am so compatible with on every level.

It also probably doesn't help that we are still living together, but I really don't want to lose him as a friend and I love living with him as a friend. He feels the same way. I am also afraid to move out because I am still thinking I might want to get back together with him - which is why I am here.

I broke up with him to try out hooking up with other guys, which I have done a bit of since. Some of it has been just meh, and some has been really fun and awesome. Recently, I hooked up with a guy, and while the hook up itself was awesome, I felt like I wished there was more afterwards. I felt sort of empty. I'm not sure if I wished this guy would invite me to spend the night, or if I wished I had an actual relationship again. But something just didn't feel right.

Since then, I have been really racking my brain trying to figure out what exactly I want, and I am flipping back and forth.

Sometimes I think that I am being an idiot, and I should obviously try to get back together with my ex bf because he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I will never find anyone else like him again. It is not like he is unattractive, I just don't drool over him when I see him naked. We have so many great memories together, and I am fairly certain no one would ever care for me as much as he did.

Other times I think that I should just wait it out until I hopefully find another guy I get along with great, and also drool over looks-wise.

Anyways, I can't make up my mind on what I really want and it is driving me crazy. Sometimes I want one, and other times I want the other. Has anyone experienced anything like this before or have any advice?