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Can't move on - Lost

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Soulsearching, May 14, 2016.

  1. Soulsearching

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2016
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dubai
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey Guys,
    I've just joined the community today. There's this girl that i met on an online chat room and she turned out to be living in a country that i often visited. We had exchanged numbers and were constantly chatting. She was in a relationship with another girl. After a couple of months i learnt that she was hospitalised and had severe depression (Break up - 4 year relationship). We met once before her break up.
    So at one point i realised that i was in love with her and kind of told her on whatsapp. She said we're two different people and that we are not even friends.
    We continued to talk and she already was in another relationship. We met a couple of times again and with each meeting my love grew stronger. At one point she blocked me sarong i was obsessed with her. A lot has happened since then. . She broke up again and got into a relationship and blocked me unblocked me. It was like a cycle.
    I never used to talk much during our meet ups. I'm a socially awkward person and never did i confess my love for her in person.
    Recently i wrote a story about my feelings and showed it to her, she enjoyed it too. She's in a relationship note and I'm happy for her. Things havechanged now cos she talks nicely with me and also trusts me.
    But my feelings are intact. . I can't move on and we still talk but though i know she wouldn't love me back like ever i still can't get over her.

    What should i do? I think i don't deserve love. . I'm a complicated person i can't emote well. . Even crying doesn't come easily to me and i hardly do that. It's difficult for me to understand emotions. May be she didn't like me cos i can't provide the emotional comfort nor show compassion.
    i think i don't deserve love.

    PS: i know it is lengthy. But anyone taking their time to read this, thanks to you.