I'm in the closet, and today I had to pokerface my way through one of my 'friends' homophobic opinions. I tried to act like it didn't bother me and changed the conversation, but I was obviously deeply upset. It made me wonder how many friends and people close to me am I going to lose/have to cut out when I come out. I'm so god damn sick of having to 'suck it up' in front of people so I don't out myself to them, though I can't imagine it'd get better if I did come out. I want to argue, I want to tell them they're wrong, but I'm no good with my words. I have no idea how I've put up with this for so long and how long it's going to be until I snap. :icon_sad:
You don't have to come out to them to say your opinion. You could talk as a straight ally, maybe talk about someone you know who's LGBT+ and tell them that their behavior is just as offensive as racism, etc. Or you try to get closer with those people who aren't homophobic and maybe go to LGBT+ groups and get to know people. That way losing some homophobes won't hurt that bad because you know you've got better new friends who accept you. Sometimes you can change people's opinion, but often the only way is leaving and finding better friends, as hard as it seems, this will be better in the end.
It's a difficult spot to be in. When you're not out, you don't want to give too much away, despite your convictions. Since I'm out, I just use logic and reason to combat anti-lgbt sentiments. Don't throw in the term "homophobic," just counter their point of view with facts, science, and an appeal to their humanity. Engage with what they are actually saying.
In my experience the strongest argument you have is yourself as a decent out person. I came out in Utah in the early nineties. Everyone around me had and expressed anti-LGBT sentiments. Thinking otherwise wasn't a really viable option and it's really easy to think terrible things about people you don't know. To be honest the only thing I really had to do was be honest and be me. When people realized that when they said such things they were talking about me, well they stopped saying them for the most part. I honestly don't encounter practically any homophobia in my day to day life.
