Hey all. I've had a rough week. Lately I've been thinking about when I came out two and a half years ago and the way my mom treated me during that time. It ended badly, with her trying to change my orientation and telling me she'd never accept my sexuality, and eventually I just told her I was straight. I'm still in *a lot* of pain over this, despite trying to lessen the sting over the past few years.* Because of how she treated me and the things she said, I now question whether or not I'll be able to find someone in a few years if/when I'm ready to date and be happy with her. I mean, I trust that I'll find someone, but I don't believe I'll have a happy ending with her, if that makes sense.* I feel kind of hopeless honestly, wondering if I have a bright, happy future ahead of me that's full of love. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to have that.*
It s a very hard situation to be in Sapphiresky, *HUGS* A simple piece of advice, accept your sexuality (whether you re gay, confused or bi) between you and yourself and make peace with it. Other people's opinions could not affect it nor should you repress it and the right people with a loving heart and an open mind will come into your life and support you. It's a process that can's be hurried and needs its time to birth sending you supportive vibes
sapphiresky, I sometimes wonder the same. I am not out to family but will have to once I start dating. (I do not want to date someone in the closet therefore I have to do the same for them but that's beside the point.) I know my family will have very negative reactions and will try to break us up, which is why I am working extremely hard to be completely financially independent. As of now, I don't have much yet but enough for food and basic housing etc. I think this suits everyone but it is especially important if you already sense that your family is gonna disapprove of your future relationship. Imagine if you have your own successful career/stable income/circle of friends, you can afford to care less about what your family like or dislike.
If you focus on yourself and decide you're ready to date then I believe you'll be fine. Give yourself a safety-net (financial security mainly) to fall into when you tell your mom you're gay and nothing your mom does will change that.
I am quite a bit older (old enough that one of my babies recently came out to me... and by recently, I mean nearly two years ago). My advice? Loudly be all the parts of yourself that you love the best. Don't be who the world wants you to be only to wake up hating your life one day. Take care of yourself, plan ahead, work toward the life that you truly want to lead. Family is tough. They may or may not come around to loving you as all that is you. All that you have control over is you. Be the very best you that you can be and you will not only find happiness - others will find happiness with you. ♡
