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Should I Quit?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by thewizard, May 16, 2016.

  1. thewizard

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    Ever since I've ran cross country and track at the high school I go to(almost two years now), I've been harassed due to my love of fashion and because I'm black(I go to an all white school and town). My freshamn year I did everything I did to try to fit in and please everyone on the team. This year however, I realized how emotionally drained I was all the time, so I dug up the courage to be myself. I never really was included with them socially, but this just put the nail in the coffin. I've been called not black enough, fag/faggot and both forms of the n word. All of this especially hurt because this was coming from people whom I thought were my friends. After a long internal struggle, I decided to tell the dean of students at my school what was going on. There was more than name calling, but it'd take way too long to write. Long story short, I chickened out and only put blame on a couple kids and the dean of students let them off with a warning. I figured this would make the other members of the team to realize how offensive and hurtful they were being, but this only made matters worse. People that had caused most of the problems would text me telling me how sorry they were, but no one ever apologized to me in person. Not even my coach. I know that probably sounds like it wasn't a big deal, but that just showed me how little the team really cared about me. On top of that, I've been told numerous times that I ruined the team because they "can't make gay or racist jokes anymore." I want to leave because everyone on the team is a mysogomisityc, homophobic, transphobic, biggot, racist, but the thing that's holding me is my crush I've had since ninth grade. He doesn't even know, but when it comes to him I turn into an idiot. I've lost my best friend this year for a reason unknown to me, and I've realized that almost everyone I know is a racist or homophobe. I'm worried that if I leave I'll have no one to turn to for friendship. I don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated!
     
  2. Sandmann

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    Your cross country team sounds like they're toxic to try and fit in socially with. Friends should be uplifting and caring not what you described these guys as. It's high school, in high school things are meant to prepare you for the real world. You've been prepared from this situation to realize that you don't have to spend time with people in order to fit in. A lot of people forget about their high school lives and focus on new goals, so what I'm saying is if you leave your team don't feel bad.

    If you want to keep running, I would recommend finding local competitions for running/marathons. I myself just enjoyed jogging in parks.
     
    #2 Sandmann, May 16, 2016
    Last edited: May 16, 2016
  3. thewizard

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    Thank you for tour response! I think what my main problem is that I feel a sense of guilt for leaving which you described. Which is ironic seeing as how poorly they treat me.
     
  4. Lance

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    Those seem like pretty unhealthy people and not anyone I would want to "turn to for friendship." And in regard to feeling guilt, I would not let myself feel that way if I were you since you also said that you felt as if the team did not really care about you. So personally, I would leave the team. Those kind of people are not ones to associate with.
     
    #4 Lance, May 17, 2016
    Last edited: May 17, 2016