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Hear me out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by dopplershift94, May 18, 2016.

  1. dopplershift94

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    About a year ago, I wrote a post about my experience telling my straight friend that I liked him, and he took it well, and I told people that you should just tell them how you feel; this is usually easier said than done, but I have come to learn to only reaffirm my advice.

    I have struggled whether or not to tell straight crushes or crushes in general even after the one positive experience that i have had, but let me give you two experiences that I have had that has helped me realize something.

    Throughout the fall semester and beginning of Spring semester, I had a crush on one of my friends who had a girlfriend; after months of torture, I finally told him near the beginning of the spring semester; I made plans to meet him after he got out of his last class for the day, and after 20 minutes of stumbling, I finally told him. He said that he wasn't mad, and that he was glad that I felt safe telling him, and that he respected me more for it.

    There was another guy that I had my eye on throughout the year, and I couldn't tell if he was gay or not. I didn't want to ask him, but I wasn't sure how he would react. Eventually, I gain the courage to ask him out. I said "Hey, I'm not sure if you're gay or not, but I've been interested in you, and was wondering if you were interested in going out on a date. Are you by chance gay?"

    He replied and said that he was not gay, nor was he offended, he had people expect that he was gay before based on his mannerisms. He told me that he wasn't interested in dates anyway, and that he was flattered and respected me for being brave enough to take the initiative to ask him out.

    I learned and continued to observe that you don't know until you ask. There are a lot of threads on here that go like this: "I like someone, but I don't know if they're gay or not." My answer to that is just to ask them, or better yet, ask them out. And if they get mad, then they're not really you're friend.

    By the way, the last friend I asked out is pretty conservative. I have found that most men are not as homophobic as you think. In fact, I call my friends "sexy" and "hot" all the time, and they don't mind it at all.

    If you want someone, tell them. The trick is not to over think it. Otherwise, you'll torture yourself, and the more you think, the more you let yourself come up with the worst possibilities.

    Don't get me wrong, I was nervous as hell when I have told these guys or asked them out, but I feel so much better now, and both have told me that they respect me more for being honest.

    So, if you know someone is straight and you like them, if you want to get over them, you can tell them. If you have a crush on someone, and you're not sure if they're gay or not. You either ask them out, or you get over it. Don't let it torture you. .

    I hope my advice has helped!
     
  2. sempai

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    Totally helpful advice. Thanks! It brings closure and that's what is important to getting over someone.
     
  3. Domosuke

    Domosuke Guest

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    Straight guys are repulsed by me, so I don't have to worry about this. They think I'm too feminine.

    Well they just won't admit it. They are probably just down low gay.