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Dealing with s**t from family

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BP902, May 23, 2016.

  1. BP902

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Suffolk
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This has been a recent problem which has started only this year for me.
    Every time I tell my family that I am going out on a date, they flip their s**t.
    My father is always the one to give me a harsh warning to be careful, while in the process making it clear that he doesn't approve of me going to meet someone.
    So perfectly reasonable, that shows that he cares. But that is where it ends...

    From there on out it is not smooth sailing.

    Once it is known that I am seeing a guy my family then for whatever reason go out of their way to make my life a living hell. Here are some of the things that usually happen...

    1) Every time I come home from college or meeting a friend, my father will give me a disapproving and stern look. This is usually followed up by a million questions being thrown my way just for fun.

    2) My sister (who is 19) will give me a long, completely unnecessary lecture about how it is not ok to go out on a date because I am 17. Makes me laugh because at the time it was acceptable for her to do so as it was for my 3 other siblings.

    3) My sister will go at it again. She will bring it up at dinner to our mum, where mum will have something to say no doubt.

    4) My family members will then ignore me around the house, or feel the need to make rude comments right up until the day they meet the guy I am dating.

    This will repeat for weeks and weeks until I decide it is time for my family to meet the guy. Not only do I feel like it is a test to see how much s**t I can take before I snap, but also I feel that I am being constantly disrespected . I am posting here to see if this is normal.

    To clarify... I was dating a guy who is 22, my family were totally cool with the age gap considering the gap between my Aunt and Uncle is 10 years.

    That and my family are totally cool with my sexuality.

    I have a date with a really nice guy tonight who is 23, so I am having to deal with the rudeness again, and will have to do so for weeks.

    What other family does this? I get ignored, spoken rudely too, be told that dating is wrong, and to top it all off whenever I stand up for myself I get an absolute bollocking.
    :dry::bang:
     
    #1 BP902, May 23, 2016
    Last edited: May 23, 2016
  2. Christine

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Portland Or
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    I find the same in mine, you are not alone in this. My mother wants to see if I have aspergers, and I don't. I am transitioning, and they (whole family) are trying to stop me. I know how you feel, and when I stand for myself, I get Bloody Sunday again and again.
     
  3. BP902

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Christine that is horrible, you should be able to be who you are without dealing with that rubbish from your family. :/
    If anything you are stronger than me.
     
  4. JonSomebody

    Regular Member

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    A lot of what you're going through, happened to me. When it was revealed that I was gay, it did not take me long to move out because every time my boyfriend would come and pick me up for a date. He would never come inside or knock on the door because he knew what I was dealing with. Even though it was his way of being respectful, they would get really annoyed whenever he would come around. Not too long after, he asked me to move with him and we found a new place.

    When we had broken up, I moved into this duplex house and one of my older sisters stayed on the other side. I was in my early 20's, taking care of myself and this guy was trying to win me back and I was dating someone new. However, both of these guys would have flowers, balloons delivered to me a lot and this would really upset her to no end. Nonetheless, it wasn't she could say because I had my own place and it was none of her business. Perhaps you should think about getting your own place or getting a room mate.