Hi guys, I recently came out and Ive been seeing this girl for 4-5 times and I lied and said I had sex with a girl before but I havent. I lied because I think theres a lot of prejudice against those straight bicurious girls and I did not want her to think im playing around teating the waters. Ive been aware that Im gay most my adult life but I only now allowed myself to act on it. We ended up being quite intimate (not full sex) and then I casually told her I lied and that infact I never did this before. Needless to say she was not happy and got defensive saying I lied to her and deceived her and she doesnt want to be my experiment. She spoke about a similar experience she had and she became very cold and defensive. I felt so defeated that I just said that is exactly the reason I lied, because she would think Im toying about but Im not. I understand her feeling that way especially telling her once weve been intimate. She even said her opinion of me had Changed She later told me that she would like me to go visit her again (she lives about 2 hours away). I want to apologise and tell her she is not an experiment and i genuinely like her but Im scared that it will make her change her mind. If I acknowledge my mistake in consciously lying to her wont that make her feel entitled to being more angry at me?
I would apologize again. Tell her you didn't mean to hurt her and was just scared to lose her and now realize that lying wasn't a good idea. Tell her that you really like her and would be really sad to lose her as you can really picture yourself going far with her. Basically be honest. Acknowledge you made a mistake, apologize and accept that she may need time to forgive you/trust you again or may even never forgive you. Hopefully though, she'll realize that you aren't just toying with her and genuinely like her. Good luck OP I can see why you did it and doesn't blame you for having thought that was a good idea. Hopefully you get it sorted and can go back to how you were ! (*hug*)
Hi my lovely, Thank you for replying. I am finding it really hard to apologise to her I am genuinely terrified of apologising only to be shot down or made to feel insignificant. I know that essentially this is what I need to do. I hope she will understand that too. :icon_sad*hug*)
