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Crush on someone who's taken. Advice?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Malicious6, May 24, 2016.

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  1. Malicious6

    Malicious6
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey guys,

    so I have a crush on a woman who is already in a relationship (she's gay). She has no idea that I am too, so I feel like if I flirt with her a bit it's ok, because she has no idea.

    In saying that, I would never say anything to her about how I feel, or do anything, but it's so frustrating because I feel like we'd be really good together, but I know it's only in my head.

    We talk a lot, and recently we've started texting each other, where she makes initial contact as well as double texting etc - like she seeks me out - I try not to engage in her too much.

    Basically i wanted to know ways to get over her. I know she's not available but I can't help liking her anyway, which I know i shouldn't :bang: but I can't help it! Ugh.

    How do I get over her, while still hanging out with her (we work together) but without her knowing/me saying something by accident/me getting hurt? :dry:
     
    #1 Malicious6, May 24, 2016
  2. A Mindful Wolf

    A Mindful Wolf Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Belgium
    Gender:
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    Well...I was in the same situation...except I ended up hooking up with the guy. It was a bad bad decision and I'm still hurting from it. He's still in his old relationship and things are very awkward since neither of us can talk about it (we work together) so people have no reason to think we would speak about much.
    It started with a lot of eye contact, then the seeking out, then the texts. She'll probably invite you somewhere next. Then the night out, then the night "in", so to speak.

    Then again, what if you are THAT person she's been missing? I know with my situation that things got too intense for him (he admitted he had feelings for me one night) and after that he forces himself to ignore me mostly, or just have passing interest. It's soul-crushing.
    The thing is, I don't think it was possible for me to "get over" the crush I had without this ever happening. Tbh, I still have a crush, but it will all be over soon (we have different vacation dates). Sometimes you need the sadness to get started with the happiness.
    I hope you feel better knowing you're not the only one ^^ These things happen. I'm a bit of a romantic so I say go for it...but just be aware, she IS in a relationship. You can continue flirting all you like, it's up to her to make the move if she wants something more.
     
    #2 A Mindful Wolf, May 25, 2016
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