Eye contact - discussion

I was in love with a friend for three years. She made me feel an overwhelming amount of emotion for someone like me who usually does not feel much and is quite detached and aloof in any friendships/relationships.

I hid it for three years, well I tried. It was hard because I was coming to terms with my sexuality (I'm 18, still in high school - senior year.) At first I avoided her and never looked her in the eye, I didn't want to accept what I felt. So I got a boyfriend, went on a rampage of having sexual inter course with multiple men - which probably confused her if she did feel the same way. Then about a year ago, I accepted within myself that I was most likely gay.

Now I can go into extensive detail on why I think she is aswell, the things she's done/said to me, however she is a very outgoing confident and touchy person so I was always conflicted on whether she truly did feel the same way.

I would overthink for days and nights - years actually on whether she did like me back. It drove me partially insane - I took a lot of drugs and drank until I passed out on the weekends with friends to try not think about her.

A few months ago I decided I'd had enough, and she has a boyfriend now anyway. I tried to distance myself but it didn't work. Then I thought of how unhappy I was with every aspect in my life so I completely ditched my group of friends associated with her and became friends with other girls - for two reasons: 1. They were all homophobic, snobby, 'popular' girls. 2. I needed to get far away from her so I could move on.

However I still see her at school, she's in some classes of mine but we hardly speak, maybe a few sentences ever two days. I'm an extremely confusing person and I know that - I always act as if I am completely not interested in being around her and walk past her as if I can't see her. But when I knew I loved her was when we were very close last year, when we went out together a lot with my old friends and got drunk and the things she did some nights made me think 'This girl has to like me.. right???'

One very distinct memory which isn't that huge in comparison to other times where I thought what she was doing/saying was from her liking me had nothing to do with words or actions. More so, eye contact. We were talking just us two, it had been an hour or so and we were joking around and laughing at each other like no one else was around. I remember walking away from her afterwards with the biggest smile on my face. I was 100% certain she felt the same way because of the way she was staring at me, I mean when you can feel it and you know, you know right!?? I was so so happy because I could just tell from her eyes she liked me.

But that was last year... and I've distanced myself dramatically now. i wish I could go into detail about other instances where she really made me question her sexuality and whether she liked me but it would be way too long.

Do you think that when you know from eye contact you know? It's that sparkle and gaze in someone's eyes I guess. My question is: what do I do? Should I just keep away as I've been doing for months now and finish school soon and not see her again. Or do I try something, anything to get her to be mine?