Just need to rant a little about my sister

My sister is just the most frustrating pseudo liberal hypocritical prejudiced person I have ever met.

She met a bunch of my boyfriend's friends the other day and called the whole experience damaging because she doesn't like being around people who are very "2.4 children" and not weird and who are not accepting and open and judge your opinions. One girl she felt was very forceful and felt like she was being attacked; the whole thing made her very anxious - she has major problems with this.

Here's the thing.

a) the girl was not forceful, especially when compared to my sister. She brought up no inflammatory topics, other than her engagement and bad experience in her last job. Fairly normal topics if they're part of your life. She barely engaged with my sister really.

b) My sister was very forceful in her opinions all evening and I felt she was a little too much so, especially with the people she was more comfortable with like the hosts. To the point I could tell it was annoying one of them.

c) My sister was rude and basically went through all their possessions without asking

d) When I asked my sister what she thought they weren't open about she didn't actually answer. She associates with a type of people who are "super liberal" which is fine. But I sometimes I think she assumes if someone isn't exactly like them then they won't accept people the way the are. She (repeatedly) brought up the topic of some people being non-binary gender like she had to make a point that it was okay. Like the people at the event are closed minded to people who aren't gender binary. (There were other similar topics, but this one was repeated for some reason and my friend commented on it after).

e) She considered these people to have very "normal" lifestyles, personally I think because they want to marry and have children. She doesn't and a lot of her friends spend their time travelling the world going to dance events abroad and such. But the people we met up with aren't like that. She has a problem with these types of people. My sister is clearly very tolerant and accepting of people who live differently to herself.....

Basically I think she's making judgements about these people and their opinions based on who she thinks they are. They have different opinions to her on how they want to live which makes them not liberal. She feels threatened by different opinions, yet is aggressive herself when she doesn't feel threatened. She mistakes open-mindedness and being liberal with having the same opinions as her. It's really starting to piss me off.

I know she has mental health problems, but I'm fed up with her acting superior about this when she's just such a prejudiced hypocrite. :bang:

Rant over.

 

You haven't been on the receiving end of hurtful and demeaning comments for 20 years. I also have anxiety, but I have to deal with this. My point was she doesn't have liberal opinions. She's massively closed minded. And to be honest, it's probably the reason she's not getting better. Because her opinions are the only opinions and are right.

She doesn't actually listen to other people, and as such she isn't will to accept ideas that are not her own and spirals downwards. And there's nothing I can do. How is she supposed to function with people who are different when different is bad?

I cut her all the slack. It just really pisses me off when I do this and what do I get in return? Bullshit and I'm better than your friends and you. She does this and isolates herself by it and wonders why she can't cope with the real world. It's very hard to be understanding when faced with this. Yet still, I try.

Hence the ranting. It's not like I can say any of this to her.

 

I have tried and will keep trying; there's not much else I can do. I couldn't get any kind of answer out of her, and can't exactly push the point. There is't a way to say it nice enough. Even in normal conversation she gets panicky if the topic turns the wrong way or even just randomly. Her responses are basically to the tune of "they're just not that kind of person". At this I've directly asked why she thinks this, and what they've done that makes her think this. Nothing. She just gets gut feelings about people I think.

She's always taken instant likes and dislikes to people since she was a child. And I know this has been made worse by her anxiety as she feels targeted and victimised by everyone.

If she genuinely gave people a chance she's be surprised how open and accepting a lot of people are. But I don't feel like she does. But the main problem with this is it means she devalues other peoples opinions. Including mine. So there's not really anything I can do to help.

I'm going to her next therapy appointment at her request, and I've spoken to the councillor. The councillor is hoping having me there will help her to open up easier and finally engage with the service, but I have my doubts. She isn't really in a state to confront her problems, hence I can't really speak to her; but she refuses any kind of medication as a crutch to be able to cope with dealing with her problems.

I feel so angry and frustrated and helpless. I hate her and love her and pity her. I just don't know what to do.