I have a dilemma, and I was need to voice it. (I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this. Oh well). I am currently interested in a girl who has shown signs of being interested in me, but I am not sure of her sexual orientation (also, some girls are confusing about stuff like this; it is difficult to figure out if they like you as a friend or something else. She is confusing in that way). I have tried to ask her, starting with generally approaching the topic of sexual orientation, but she gets uncomfortable and changes the subject before I can ask. To add to this, she is of a different social class, religion, economic status, and race. This might be okay, but her parents are not very tolerant of their children socializing with people as different from them as I am (admittedly, I don't know them very well, but this is what I have gathered so far. They also may be just a little homophobic). Because of her parents, and maybe partially because of her, she doesn't have a cell phone or an email (Well, kind of. She doesn't use it to talk to friends) or anything, so I can't talk to her in private for more than 5 minutes. We are in class together, and then we go our separate ways. Possibly the scariest thing is that I worry that as she gets older she will become kind of a bigot (a little like her parents) and limit her interactions to people exactly like her. If you have any advice or ANYTHING please tell me. All advice is appreciated.
Firstly, I just wanted to tell you that race, religion, personal beliefs, parents' views, social standing, gender, physical appearance and style are all pretty much irrelevant when you really, really love someone. At the end of the day, it's not about what others think or say. If your partner makes you happy, then that's all that should matter. We've all been down the road of thinking, "Is (s)he into me? What does this or that mean? Do they like me more than a friend or are they just naturally flirtatious and friendly?" It's a bit harder in your case, since there's not really any other way for you to connect with her. I take it she's not on social media either? This may seem old-fashioned or corny but have you considered writing her a letter and giving it to her to read in her own time? You don't have to tell her about your attraction to her - yet. The first three letters should only be "innocent" chit-chat on general topics. Once the two of you have become more comfortable with just chatting, then you can subtly touch on LGBT stuff. Make a mention of LGBT movies, books, tv shows, etc. Then when she responds a little more positively then you can go into more details. Maybe tell her more about yourself and your interests (Doesn't have to be romantic/sexual interests. Just like hobbies, etc.) Once she's more comfortable with the LGBT topics, you can come out to her and see how she reacts. If it's hard to tell, then hold off on telling her about your feelings for a while, and back off from the LGBT topics. Then you can write her another letter (or talk to her, whichever you find easier) and reference back to the LGBT letters by saying something like, "Remember the letter I gave you/talk we've had where I spoke about LGBT stuff? Well, the reason why I talked about it is because I think I've fallen for you and wanted to test the waters before confessing my crush." I don't know if my suggestion will work or not, but it's worth a shot at least. Good luck! I hope things turn out the way you hope (*hug*)
I'm going to move this thread over to the "Family, Friends and Relationships" sub-forum, where you should be able to get more views and advice.
Thank you so much! Obviously the letter idea is a little old fashioned but...I have a feeling it just might work.
