Recently divorced, wife had an exit affair. During our relationship of many years (of which we have a child) we explored my sexuality together as consenting adults (I never went off with a man or did anything she wasn't pushing me towards). She was supportive for the most part and enjoyed a lot of what we explored. If there was ever an issue with something it was addressed, we moved passed it and fixed what was wrong. But now that so much blame was placed on her for having the affair, she exposed my intimate life to her entire family. I feel ashamed, guilty, betrayed, hurt..... She is still with the man she cheated with, they justify their affair because of the way she used my sexuality as the reason everything happened. She played the victim and made me out to be a selfish, perverted, gay person who hurt her so much she had to run off with another man. It couldn't be further than the truth. I loved her deeply and was with her through all the lowest points of her life. It hurts so much, to be painted as "the bad guy". To see how she shifted the blame, and how she was willing to throw me under the bus and humiliate me, just so she could be seen in a more positive light. Please. Help me cope with this. The waves of guilt come and go. I still can't believe someone I was with for so many years could do this to me, take my honesty and openness and use it against me.
Divorces rarely go smoothly. I'm also going through one myself. This has less to do with your sexuality and more to do with her character. If people are willing to believe her nonsense, it's not in your best interest to try and make speak to everyone she has spread this around to and say, "No, no no no. THIS is what actually happened" because all it will do is just go back and forth, back and forth . . . People of good moral and character will know just to stay out of it. It may be tough for you at this time, but try to roll with the punches and not let it get to you because she's just making herself look foolish. People will see, hmm.. she left with another man and you're single. What's that show? It shows she's not being truthful.
Yea you're right, I tried to be her friend after the divorce but it hasn't worked out well, not only in being bad for my healing process but also due to the fact that, that person is still in the picture. It's been nightmarish. Thank you for your words of encouragement. You're right about trying to prove her wrong, it would be a pointless effort. I haven't met the other man yet, but I know the day will come, sooner than I hope. I just have to maintain my composure for my son. I don't really want to ever have to meet that person. But it's inevitable. I hope for the best for you in your divorce, it's tough, but we will get through it. As long as we take care of ourselves and keep looking for the help we need to get through it we will get by.
