Hi fellows , This is only my 2nd or 3rd thread here . Only few months ago i started to realize that my feelings for guys are more than what they are supposed to be ! I struggled to fight these feelings but then decided to focus on my studying as i was in my senior year . Since i study most of the day , that worked out very well . I graduated a month ago and as any newly graduated guy , i just decided to hang out with family and friends all the time . So here is the thing , 2 days ago i kissed a friend ... or he did !i'm not sure how it happened but it just did ... Non of us was drunk and we were completely aware of what we were doing . Anyway , after that night we never talked about it even though we spend most of our time together . I wonder if i should talk to him about the kiss or just forget about it ! At the same time i'm afraid that talking to him will end up in a bad way :/ In the other hand , i'm not sure about my sexuality yet ! Ahhhhh ,this so confusing !!!! What do you think i should do ?
Avoid the subject and make as if nothing arrived is a bad idea.You have to gather one's courage and ask him why he kissed you, because otherwise you will always have this feeling of discomfort when we don't know anything. It's better to clear things up as fast as possible, because it's to ignore the fact who make things worse.
He could be feeling the exact same thing, afraid to confront it. It's best to talk about it when you two are alone together, but not in a place where he feels he's gonna be "pounced" upon, ya know? Like in a park or something, not a bedroom.
Well , yesterday we went back to our uni to finalize some papers for graduation . I did as you advised me and after a lot of thinking i decided to talk him about the kiss . I can't tell if it went good or bad ! We were setting having some cold drinks in the middle of the uni with only few students walking here and there . Anyway i started to talk about several nonsense things as i was nervous :/ but then i opened the subject and i told him that i think there is something we should talk about and i've been thinking about it ever since it happened ... but then he stopped me and said " i know we should talk about what happened , but please give me some time ! " and then we got up to continue doing what we came for ..
Apparently , he had enough time to think and in the end when we talked ....he decided to give me a black eye . Ever since this gay thing started in my life , it seems that everything is going wrong !! I just wish for these feelings to stop , i miss my old me
I know it's hard. This is one outcome that is always possible. However, doesn't this show that other persons' shortcomings? I mean, he was in on the deal and he's decided it's all your fault. This is not fair to you. Generally, people in this kind of denial are bad for gay people to be around. They're trying hard to keep that "straight" image that they have of themselves. Of course, the last line in your post expresses some regret on your part, but please notice that you are open about this issue with yourself, while it appears he is expending boundless energy to keep that part walled off. He is not the sort of person you'd be able to talk about much of anything serious with. You describe yourself as questioning--so I wish you the best in examining who you are and what you want. If this uncertainty is just starting, it may take awhile for you to reach the place you're happiest with, whether it's closer to the old you or something else.
I'm not sure he is in denial , he could be a 100% straight . In fact i don't care right now , of course i do care about him as he is one of my BEST friends but right now i'm more concerned about getting myself out of this mess and hopefully then i can help him. To be honest , i got so excited about the kiss . Maybe because it was my first kiss ever , or mostly because i thought that i'm gonna have a friend to talk to about what's going on with me . The talk went smoothly at first , he was the one who started the talk this time .. but once i mentioned the gay word he freaked out abd it got tensed and i eneded up on the floor . An important thing i forgot to mention , is that i live in the middle east . And it's not and it will never be okay to be gay in this country. I come from a multicultural family , we love each other and i'm so proud to be among them and this is why i don't want to disappoint my family and i pray from my heart to be normal. ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2016 at 11:59 AM ---------- This thread is getting more confusing and complicated for me !!!! What the hell am i talking about exactly ! The kiss , my friend , my family , my sexuality ......... And here i am replying to my thread talking to myself But honestly , this is really hard for me ... I mean i'm almost 24 years old ... and here i am crying everysingle night trying to figure things out . I've never thought about LGBT in general , neither have read anything related to them (at least till recently ) . And i used to think whenever i hear that a gay guy killed himself somewhere in the world , that he did it mainly due to bullying ... I think i was wrong , i know i'm not going to do anything to hurt myself ... but this thing that i'm going through these days is getting me down and down and i hardly can handle the thoughts in mind . Don't worry as i said i'm not gonna do anything .. i just needed to tell someone what i am feeling .
I did pick that detail up the first time around. My comments are intended to address how you feel about yourself most of all, those inner thoughts we judge ourselves by. It seems to me you have pretty decent self-esteem to start with, so I think you're doing pretty well, even if it's presently painful. You location does provide a better reason for your friend to be homophobic, to avoid legal and cultural consequences. However, it seems he has internalized it and not just putting on a front.
I'm sorry he reacted so terribly, and that you are going through such a hard time. Unfortunately, a lot of people go through similar experiences, so you are not alone. It must be hard for you to question both your own sexuality, and to sort out what happened with your friend. The situation is even harder when given the homophobic society you live in. Don't try to figure everything out right away. Just take it slowly, and give yourself a break. You might be confused about your sexuality, but trust me that with patience, time, and introspection, things will get much clearer in the future. So try to relax a little on that front if you can. Also, maybe your friend will come around, maybe not. Either way, it's out of your control and you can't do much about it at the moment, so try to let that be as well. Take everything step by step and feel free to just vent here as well. Things may be hard now, but because of all this, you will have a even better life in the future, so don't think you want to go back to before!
Thank you guys , this is really helpful. Last night was too hard for me , i mean the stream of thoughts i was having was beyond my capability to process. But in the end i reached a point where i realized that i have to take them one by one even though I have no idea from where to start !
He is one of my best friends. I've never been in such a situation and my friends mean the world to me . We are still the same as before , and we are avoiding to talk about the kiss or the punch i've taken . I must say that this was the only time for him to do such a thing . I've known him for the whole 6 years in medical school and he was always the most calm one .
