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Very apprehensive about this first date tonight

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RemakeJake, Jun 5, 2016.

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  1. RemakeJake

    RemakeJake
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    I'm 20 and have a first date tonight with a 26 year old I started talking to a couple of months ago. He's been working multiple jobs and going through a lot so we've never had time to go out until now. He seems very, very sweet and says he "can't wait to kiss" me or cuddle with me, but I'm afraid he's expecting something else as well. I'm going to his house tonight because he'll cook something and then we'll watch a movie or something. I totally get if having sex on the first date is some people's thing, but it's not me, and I would never do that, so I really hope he doesn't expect or anticipate me to. He seems like the kind of guy who would drop hints or tell me in advance if that was on his mind, but I'm super paranoid now. Should I ask him directly? What should I do? Thanks, guys.
     
    #1 RemakeJake, Jun 5, 2016
  2. faustian1

    faustian1
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    I think that you really have no choice but to be open with him that you are a novice. He probably does expect a bit more. If you think you really like this guy, try to open some honest communication right from the start. At the beginning of your meeting, you are going to have some time to talk. Talk about your own lack of experience, and need to know someone better before going beyond a certain point. You also could probably learn some things about the world of gay dating from his perspective. Since he's 26, take advantage of the perspective that comes from the age difference, too.
     
    #2 faustian1, Jun 5, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2016
  3. Totesgaybrah

    Totesgaybrah
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    Or he could be like me, 26 with zero experience just like you.
     
    #3 Totesgaybrah, Jun 5, 2016
  4. faustian1

    faustian1
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    Well, there is that. But that might actually mean Jake will have more in common with him.
     
    #4 faustian1, Jun 5, 2016
  5. resu

    resu
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    Try not to assume things or let him get on with assumptions. If you're really concerned, just say beforehand that you don't feel comfortable having sex on the first date. That is a reasonable request. If it isn't for him, then maybe he's not the right match for you at this time. You could also state what other intimate things you are comfortable with.
     
    #5 resu, Jun 5, 2016
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