letting go of resentment towards parents' homophobia

Honestly i feel pretty much the same way. It's painful and sucks. religion, especially Christianity, is one of those things that no one ever wants to blame. Even when yeah this is becuase of the religion. Honestly, the best I can do sometimes is just to roll my eyes and remember that they don't know or understand who I am right now and maybe they will someday but for now I just let it go, becuase believe me fights with parents about religion and ideology can get ugly real fast, especially if you inherited a temper from them. Be honest with them, tell them up front why you're upset, but when they get angry and try to pull you into an argument things get heated an no one learns anything. Just tell them something and let them think on it. Emotional heart to hearts make way more progress

 

I came out to my mom and she and the rest of my immediate family members are very homophobic and what I've learned over the years is that you just can't convince them to accept you no matter what. They will have to come to terms with it in their own time, if that's possible. I had tried all kinds of things to get them to love me or accept me like my other siblings. I even try to buy them and eventually, I discovered that I was being taking advantage of by doing this. A lot of horrible things they did to me had made me consider suicide at one time. However, after going through counseling which helped me embrace my sexuality and to be satisfied with my family's homophobia. Unfortunately, although they made it easy for me to do this, I moved away at a distance from them...not in a nearby neighborhood and I did not give out my phone numbers to none of them and I did not see them for almost three years. I had a close knit of friends around me who had family that supported them and they became my substitute family during this time. The re connection with family came when one of my younger siblings saw me leaving a restaurant after work and she approached me. However, I still did not come around them for years and she was the only one I would have contact with from time to time. This is what worked for me because it became very apparent that I had to make myself happy and put my focus on living my life for me and not them especially when they made it quite clear that I was not accepted by them. Another plus with this separation was that I became a very strong and very independent individual and to this day, my siblings still have issues with me not only with my sexuality, but with my independence because they are very co dependent upon each other. In conclusion, I think you will have to do the same and live your life. Let them come around on their own if its meant to be.

 

It is hard because they are your parents, but at this point you should focus on living your life your way. You have to take care of yourself first, worry about their happiness later.

I have argued with a couple religious people endlessly. Some can change and others you would get more accomplished actually beating your head on a wall. Its one of those fights, that isn't worth fighting. Just hang in there and take care of yourself.