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Does he like me? Lots of signs...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by aj1022, Jun 13, 2016.

  1. aj1022

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    Hey everyone, I don't normally ask people for advice on these things but this has been eating me up for a LONG time...

    I'll start from the beginning, so basically there's a boy I've had a crush on for so long and I finally got the courage to message him and ask him to hang out, which he agreed to. I didn't think anything of it at the time but I liked him a lot and wanted to hang out and see him in person. When we hung out he turned out to be REALLY nice. But it went really well and there were a lot of times where I would catch him staring at me or staring at some guy but I don't want to assume things based on that. We have each other on snapchat, social media and we would talk everyday, it was more of just small convos or just random messages here and there. I've stalked his social media and he doesn't seem to be interested in girls, but he doesn't seem to be interested in guys either. He only really cares about fashion and stuff like that. In person he seems like he likes me and is just shy to admit it. Like I said, I don't want to jump to conclusions but to list some things he's ever said to me:

    "You're a really interesting guy."
    "You're really funny."
    "Seeing you today makes me happy."
    "Awww" - cute way.

    The reason why this whole situation is eating me inside is because I'm too scared to ask him if he's gay or tell him that I like him. My reason for that is, I'm so scared of rejection and scared of how this will turn out. I feel like if he is gay and is closeted, me asking if he's gay would put him in a bad spot. Also he doesn't know that I'm gay and I can't tell him without making it obvious that I like him. I have no idea what to do honestly. I'm actually still surprised that he even agreed to hang out with me since I literally messaged him out of the blue. I don't know if he's gay and I don't want to assume things. He wouldn't even give me a hug or facetime me, which makes me think he isn't interested whatsoever. I want to tell him how I feel, but I just can't. I hope that someone has been through this before to tell me what's up. All these mixed signals are killing me. I guess to be truthful I can't accept if he were to be straight, or didn't like me.
     
  2. mirkku

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    Hello there

    I get that you are afraid of rejection, but given the guy's attitude, you might be on to something. Perhaps you could approach the subject a bit differently, such as asking an open question ("how's your love life lately?"), or discuss current news including LGBTQ people - not the happiest thing lately, but... Entertainment-related stuffs such as movies or funny news maybe, instead. Keeping it light and casual. You could then find out his views about LGBTQ matters in general.

    Either way, even if in the end you remain only friends, the friendship will not work if you keep too big secrets from each other.

    Some people are just keeping PDA to a minimum. That might be why he doesn't hug you. It wouldn't alarm me much.
    (But seriously, who would say such things to someone who is not their long-time BFF? He likes you.)
     
  3. geoseason

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    I think he has an interest or liking to you. You make him happy, which who doesn't want to be with someone who makes them happy? Haha. Hint around maybe? Like you could randomly compliment guys you see or say something that couldn't be taken either way.
     
  4. aj1022

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    Hey all, thanks for the replies. I have brought up the recent Orlando shooting and he completely changed the subject. No idea why. And based on his likes in social media he definitely supports lgbt rights. I agree, why would someone say all these things especially if they just met me. Not even my closest friends say stuff like that to me. I just don't know what to do or say. I didn't mention this but I'm a senior in high school and he's a junior. There was a time where i caught him looking at me and he smiles. It was a shy smile but I don't want to make conclusions based on that. Honestly I don't know why I can't just ask him. But I'm sure you guys understand my struggle.
     
  5. mirkku

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    Maybe he was uncomfortable talking about it. It is tough for some people, much easier for others. Try asking him if he thinks Captain America should get a boyfriend? :wink:
    You two are quite young. It's hard in this age to come out, let alone go public about your sexuality. His environment might not give him the opportunity to do so, or to feel safe at the simple thought of coming out, ever. (If he is indeed gay or bisexual, that is.)

    It could be that you are his first crush, which would be cute but also very stressful on his part. If he is closeted to everyone at the moment, not hugging and not facetime-ing with you might be explained easily.

    Are you out yourself to anyone, by the way? Could he have heard from someone that you were gay, or perhaps on social media?

    In the end, you might be better off asking him directly. Kindly, of course. Best way to be sure, uh?
     
  6. aj1022

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    I'm pretty much out to all my friends and my social media speaks for itself. I've been hinting at him through social media but I don't think he's getting the hints. He probably doesn't think anything of it either. I've been having a lot of dreams and signs to just tell him but honestly I can't. And I can't just tell him I'm gay because if I did he would definitely know that I like him. I don't want to make things weird for him.

    ---------- Post added 14th Jun 2016 at 01:15 PM ----------

    I forgot to mention. We live completely different lives, meaning there would have been no way for us to have ever met. We know each other because I messaged him on instagram. So we have no mutual friends. We just have a lot in common if not everything we like is mutual.
     
  7. mirkku

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    I understand, and those are all good intentions. But why not telling him exactly that? That you are gay, but that it does not have to be weird between the two of you, and changes nothing?