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Girlfriend never been to my house before?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Meatballs, Jun 15, 2016.

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  1. Meatballs

    Meatballs
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
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    All but family
    We've been friends since age 13 and started dating 4 months ago (both 17 now). I go over to her house a lot (nearly every week since we started going out), but never my house. She has social anxiety, so I understand how stressful that would be for her, but her house is over 2 hours away from mine and it's quite difficult for me to get there every week.

    Whenever I mention it, she says 'sorry but that'd be really stressful for me' or 'your house is sooo far away, I'd rather you came to mine.' It's a bit strange that she has never seen my house a single time. Whenever I host a party or dinner, she refuses to come, too.

    Is this an issue or am I just overthinking it? Maybe I should just give her some more time...
     
    #1 Meatballs, Jun 15, 2016
  2. confusedbubble

    confusedbubble
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    You need to speak to her explain that it's a struggle getting to her house all the time and you're upset she never wants to visit you even when you always visit her... It sounds like you are doing all the chasing visiting her and explain that she has to meet you half way and maybe accept an invite where you 2 are there only without any party or other people around
     
    #2 confusedbubble, Jun 15, 2016
  3. robclem21

    robclem21
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    I agree. There needs to be a balance. The excuse "its too far" is a not reasonable since you are making that exact same trip ever week. There needs to be a commitment from both you or you will get run down.

    Definitely talk to her about this.
     
    #3 robclem21, Jun 15, 2016
  4. Sohryuden

    Sohryuden
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    The relationship sounds unbalanced, and you seem to be doing more of the heavy-lifting. I agree with the other posts in that you need to talk to her about this. She has anxiety, I can understand that, but you're the one making the trip constantly. At the very least, she needs to make the effort.
     
    #4 Sohryuden, Jun 15, 2016
  5. katey

    katey
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    I do agree with everything thats been said, and i do understand that her anxiety may have quite an effect so maybe try and find a compromise, talk to her about how you feel, and ask her what would make it easier for her, because she's gotta break over the anxiety about it somehow :slight_smile:
     
    #5 katey, Jun 18, 2016
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