Its just something thats on my mind right now as I just recieved a text from my dad saying the following: "If you need a lift on Sunday please let me know xx. Love you lots ..sorry I wasn't a better Dad" - I mean, how do I respond to that?!?! Its true, he wasn't a good dad when I was younger. And yes, he has been trying to improve himself ever since I didn't see him between the ages of 13-17 on my own choice. I even wrote him a letter telling him about the stuff he did wrong. But what am I suppposed to say now? It's never been in my dads nature to face reality. But like once every 6 months somehing comes out of his mouth that is really honest. And its really hard not to dismiss it.... afterall that is how he has taught me to interact with him. But even though dismissing such comments is my instinct with him, thats not something that I want to do. But what am I supposed to say? No he wasnt a good dad. And now he's an alright dad. I can tell he cares in his own way but GOD. Its so mixed message. He has always forced me to look past reality and put on an act with him and so now I have a dillema of how to react to my own father. If this was my mum I would have no problems just being 100% honest and stuff... but with him its different. Any advice? How is your relationship with your dad?
Hi, I don't really have much personal experience, as my parents divorced when I was a toddler. How about messaging him saying something along the lines of 'I will do - I can see you're trying, so I really appreciate that'? This way you're showing him that you're willing to give him a chance, without opening the situation up to negativity, but it's obviously your choice on what you want to do! I hope everything goes okay!
Umm well you could always just say that you appreciate him trying to become a better dad to you. Surely do you appreciate the effort, and that way you aren't dismissing his past shitty parenting, but not being too negative. I don't really know what to say. My relationship with my dad is meh. We have a lot of almost completely opposite views on many topics, and a lot of my life is don't ask, don't tell.
I have eight adult nieces and nephews and four in particular did not have their father in their lives when they were younger. In fact, they were babies when their fathers disappeared and what I despised about my mom later on life was that I was in the 11th grade and I have joined the College Bound program which allowed me to work part time during the week and full time on weekends. My mom had insisted that I help out my oldest sister with her kids financially. I end up doing this until they graduated from high school. I also did this for another older sister and her two kids as well until they graduated from high school as well. Needless to say, I did not want kids of my own because I felt that their kids were mine. Years later, while in college, their fathers wanted to be a part of their lives. Initially, it was pretty rough and none of them wanted anything to do with them. However, as time progressed, they all do have a pretty good relationship with their fathers so maybe that comes with growth. Therefore, if you could establish a positive relationship with your dad, then perhaps you should go for it.
