From hot to cold: I do not know anymore

1.So I met my daddy more than 2 years ago in this gym. I knew he’s gay: the way he speaks, walks, and everything else about him is gay. I got interested but was doubtful and distrustful; that’s just the way I am. Being friendly, he initiated exchanging contact details and we had then casual to serious conversations, but never personal, except for a few occasions we got to talk about our families, but never about our sexuality. We’re friends. Come 2nd quarter of 2015 my father had stroke, and I was so hopeless so I broke off all communications, include mine with him, but we reconnected midway third quarter due to unexpected circumstances. Things got really intimate for some reason…he was very caring, and I was always wanting to be with him: at the gym, or anywhere else. We started eating together, but wouldn’t admit those were dates. Come a day in October it was just so intense, I finally got him to admit he’s gay, so the next day I expressed my desire to be in a relationship.

2.We were ecstatic of course; we’d go on more dates, exchange hot and sweet texts. We’d tell each other good mornings and I love you’s…fast forward to vacation period in my country (May 2016)…things started to change. He’s texting less. His emoticons are getting fewer and fewer. He wouldn’t reciprocate anymore to my hhhmhmhms, just that plain cold “I love you”. I had to confront him and he apologized; he said he’s busy and can’t attend to me. But it just keeps on repeating. I told him that I’d just drop my expectations, but that I’m still in the relationship. I apologized quickly because I thought it sounded like breakup. He teared up telling me that’s he’s just so caught up in his work, but that we’re still together. Still, I just feel like he’s very cold. Come our 8th monthsary, I made the effort to go to his place just to drop by some gifts. All I got from him were cold “thank yous” and “I love yous”.

3.(SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY!) I'm just depressed. Early in our relationship, he told me he wants "communication", but now it's just ironic. During our series of arguments, he made it clear that he's more after a bromance, though I want something more romantic, but I'm willing to settle for that because I love him, and he loves me too. That's why he also apologized if he couldn't give me that much. But he's just too cold. I'm trying not to text him anymore because from a 100% response rate, it's now at 10%. Worse, he's very active on social media. My guts tell me he doesn't love me anymore; I wish I were wrong. I love him so deeply. I may be too overvaluing text messages, but how else are we gonna maintain that communication he wants if he's that busy with his ever-increasing workload? All I want is a constant short, sweet reminder of his love, but he seems to be making me his experiment sample of his character building after all of his exes who rejected him. I can just cry.

 

Hi robclem21. He's 7 years older than I am (I'm 26)...

He had gone through a lot of heartbreaks; he kept on getting dumped. He was the one who showed interest (because I’m closeted, and he’s the obvious but don’t ask don’t tell type of guy) but when we finally entered the relationship, he admitted that he was afraid of making a move because he feared that I might not be who he thought I really am, and because he’s afraid of going through another rejection/heartbreak. He said though that he wants to take care of me, and he sees his old self in me, so he understands me.

So he’s the top not only because of age but also because of the overall stance in life. He used to be very, very sweet. I reciprocated with the same sweetness, and even more. Before, he did not use his busy schedule as an excuse (though he really got busier this time). Now I feel like I’m in a long distance relationship with an army guy.