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My mom won't let me go

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Libra Neko, Jun 18, 2016.

  1. Libra Neko

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    This has nothing to do with being bi, but it is the current dilemma I'm living with; I'm curious what advice I might get.
    I have been living with my parents my whole life: not because I'm a lazy mooch. My mom always convinces me that I should stay.
    This has been happening on and off for many years. Whenever I decide I want to move out, she discourages me and doesn't help me.
    A little background: I have a severe mental illness. My onset was at a shockingly young age: elementary school. It has eased a lot and I can deal pretty well with life now. I'm in treatment, on meds, and thriving. However, many of the problems I had when I was young are still with me because of that illness. For instance, I never got a driver's license when I was young, so I'm not good at driving. And there are no buses in my neighborhood, so I rely on my mom for transportation more often than not.
    Basically I never learned to fend for myself, because I was ill and my mom was there to take care of me. She is a "functioning" alcoholic. She has threatened that she will increase her drinking if I move out, because she will be "worried" about me.
    I'm 36 and sick of this. I can't afford to live near my parents because they have lots of money. If I move to a different part of town, things will be harder.
    I want to move out, especially to not have to live with my dad, who is also an alcoholic. He is a selfish jerk and I can't stand how he only cares about himself. He isn't careful about keeping doors closed, putting our cats at risk; there are coyotes in our area. Plus, I suspect he might have molested me when I was a little kid.
    So I need to leave. Any thoughts?
     
  2. Really

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    I think if you feel you are able to and have a way to support yourself, you should do it. Your parents don't sound like the healthiest people to be around.

    I get the impression your mother talks you out of going when you bring it up. If this is the case, I would make all the necessary arrangements and then just tell her that you're going. Not blunt like that but in a way that there's no mistaking you mean it.

    Small tip: Pick somewhere close to public transit. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Libra Neko

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    I have SSI, monthly money because of my disability. I would definitely want to be near a bus stop, or even better, a bus station. Good idea!