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College Romantics with a straight man ??!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Clock dart, Jun 19, 2016.

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  1. Clock dart

    Clock dart
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
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    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Okay, so, hear-me-out, I am in desperate need of help.

    I never had trouble fantasizing my dream men, or someone who'd make me happy, and when it came time to realize where I've been- it fazed me.

    I'd say met people through my life have labeled me as "gay" through my uncouthly actions and stereotypically "gay" adjectives, before I knew my orientation.

    When I got older, in middle school, the idea sat in the back of my head. I was having trouble processing if I was asexual or straight.

    Now when my college years started, I started to see a new generation of men and women. Most which I hated haha.

    At this point, I noticed someone in my class who is beautifully built and everything about him makes some feel happy.
    But, I am not out of the closet, nor am I that ambitious to form a friendship with this guy, and try to make it something more. Even worse, how would I know- he's probably straight.

    I have seen an earlier post on EC with this similar problem, but it only took me the first mile - simply attraction.

    So, awkward as always, I came up to him sometime in this situation and tried being s normal human and socializing. That didn't go well, but I think he saw the nrvousness in me, and kind of loosened up. For me, I thought I screwed up. I was sure he figured I was gayer than gay, and would steer loose of me. Haha, but he seemed confused with an interested swerve that forced me red.

    reading on the other post that is helping me Kearny through this situation, I got him to work on a project with me, and planned to improvise my actions when he came to work.

    This has yet to come, but I am fewrfully awaiting his coming, while I am binge watching every coming out video and reading every article dealing with something like this.

    Yikes, I don't want to come out to him yet, but I feel I am taking my thoughts too quickly. I have never had many "crushes," but this was more wanting to get to know him. I had spent full nights on EC reading- which has been my savior
    ---------
    Sorry for such a long post - I am just in desperate need of help. He's coming over tomorrow night to my house to work and I feel every shade of confusion. Why would I sm him to work with me if my ideals were so big. As small as they are. hah- thanks once more if you reply

    ---------- Post added 19th Jun 2016 at 01:32 AM ----------

    [/COLOR] Add-on - he just texted me about meeting up. He said to go to the gym tomorrow for the meetup instead

    I realize that's the most simple statement... EVER, but I planned to kinda.. Make a move if he came to my house //friend wise

    How do I respond to a simple, everyday statement like that like a normal friend would. I am making myself anxious for no reason
     
    #1 Clock dart, Jun 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2016
  2. Clock dart

    Clock dart
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    Our plans a date? were made! He usually goes to the gym around fiv he tells me and we need to work, so he invited me and then we'd go to a local brewery afterwards. (Of course bring our laptops and working) lol

    I do not like how this is going. He is just acting as my partner for something he doesn't want to do, instead of a friend. How do I get more friendly with him?

    Btw, I've always been an award speaker and get very anxious, and trying to talk normally around him is hardly a thing. Please hop in and help with this situation, someone. thanks.
     
    #2 Clock dart, Jun 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2016
  3. robclem21

    robclem21
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    This post was a bit confusing to read so I will give you the first advice that comes to mind and that is just relax! Take a deep breathe and slow your thoughts. For a couple hours go do something and think about something that isn't this boy.

    One of the things that helped me when I was talking to boys I liked was to not put them up on a pedestal. When we like someone we tend to think that they are everything and that there is nothing wrong with them. But they are in fact just like us with flaws and things about them that are normal. Thinking that way always helped keep me calm during conversations and treat them like anyone else.

    He already seems like he has invited you to do two things with him that enjoys (gym and eating). That is a pretty good sign in my opinion. There are tons of opportunities at both of those activities to talk and get to know one another. You get more friendly by asking questions about him. What his hobbies are, what he likes and doesn't like. Things like that that show interest in him as a person.

    I know its easier said than done to not overthink it, but just try to slow down your mind and not over-plan everything.
     
    #3 robclem21, Jun 19, 2016
  4. AlmostBlue

    AlmostBlue Guest

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    I'm sorry but this is very confusing. What exactly is bothering you? What does " Make a move if he came to my house //friend wise" mean?

    Do you want to be friends with him or do you want to see if he's potentially interested in dating you?

    Why do you say you don't like how this is going? It seems like he's being perfectly friendly, asking you to come to the gym and hang out as well as work on the project? This is a natural way people get to know each other as friends. I agree with robclem21, I think you need to try to take it easy, and view this guy as a potential friend who you find attractive, but nothing more at the moment, as you don't really know him.
     
    #4 AlmostBlue, Jun 19, 2016
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