My ex-boyfriend ex, let's call him L, started flirting with me and I started flirting with him after we matched on a known dating app. In the past, when I went out with him and my ex to an anime convention, I tried to hint that I was interested since me and my bf were basically breaking up already. Thing is, today after we matched we started talking again. I will probably go out with him after i come back from a trip later this month. L is stil somewhat connected to my ex, i consider them friends We broke up around 3-4 months ago. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does going out with my ex's ex make me a jerk?
It does not make you a jerk to connect with someone. The fact that your ex's ex and you match does not change this scenario. Maybe look at two things. Can you trust your ex? Is he a trustworthy person test still comes off as friendly to you? And look at your ex's ex from a birds eye view. You must reassure yourself that he is a trusted person, and would not bury any current feelings for your ex. With the trust of both of them, your ex's ex and you could most definitely be more than friends! This would NOT make you a jerk what-so-ever, and would prove that you are dealing with a smart clique of people. ----- As for dealing with a similar issue, I have a real aged experience. A few years back I had a boyfriend (only he knew I was gay) and we would meet in private and go on "fake" dates. I was having mental troubles leading up to this as for the fact that I was trying to tell myself "don't be gay! This is very gay." The anxiety built up so much that I broke up with him. Although we had been accomplished friend, I from a personal perspective steered loose of him - which later than I knew it as a good idea. I was looking back on his Facebook and MySpace account and learned enough to scare me. He had many read curing girlfriends and he seemed very straight. This rocketed my paranoia. Afterwards, though, I chatted him, saying that I think I want to experiment woman. More than I knew, I hooked up with his ex girlfriend, whom was also his on-and-off girlfriend. This worried me more. While I wasn't enjoying the relationship sexually, and mentally, I forced myself through it, and haphazardly cut loose our friendship. While it wasn't a major loss for me, my denial had shifted my world, and I learned I was associating with literal phycopaths, chasing a fuckboy. I think from this experience you might be able to learn that it matters who you're associating with. At that time I chased the much-wanted twinks, with cute style a rough outside, but I should have aimed for someone I emotionally and sexually enjoyed. If you meet this with your ex's ex, then, goddamnit, you would be FAR from a jerk and have every right to experiment with him! I hope all goes well; make sure to keep us updated!
No I can not trust my ex, he is borderline psycho. He impersonated someone on a dating app so he could talk to me. I had suspected it back then but now his ex (L) confirmed this while also suspecting I could be my ex on a fake account so I could him (L). We had to reassure ourselves that we were who we were because of my ex's stalker behaviour. If he ever finds out I'm even flirting with L, he will freak the hell out. Good thing is that I don't care about his friendship. Even as a friend he tries to control and manipulate me so I'm distancing myself. As for the second question I did not understand what you meant by "bury" feelings lol. I like L, I think he is as much of a victim as I was with my ex, he probably made him freak out too. I don't need to trust him as he knows as well as me that revealing our secret thing would mean headaches. Not that we are doing anything wrong but... you know... this is a crazy ex we have in common
I was approached with a similar situation with an ex whom had a boyfriend who knew about our relationship because my ex and I have a good platonic friendship. However, this guy always acted very distance towards me when they were together and whenever my ex would see me out and would come over to greet me, he seemed to be a bit annoyed or he would grab him affectionately in order I guess to let me know that they are together which I could care less. Surprisingly, one night, this guy asked if he could have a chat with me where he went on to tell me that he and my ex have broken up. After that, he started coming on to me and made it very clear that he wanted to have sex with me and practically kept begging me to take him home. Furthermore, he did all of these crazy antics in front of some of my friends which had them scratching their heads. He even went so far to grab me and stick his tongue deep down my throat while he put my other hand down his pants which were already open. I politely stepped back and told him that I was flattered but I don't think that is a good idea. Needless to say that he was very upset at me for rejecting his advances but I just think its inappropriate and inconsiderate to date or go out with someone who has been involved with a ex boyfriend of mine. I mean...to each its own but its not a good look for me.
