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What should I say to her?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by hopelesskid, Jun 20, 2016.

  1. hopelesskid

    Regular Member

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    i've like this girl since (let's call her tiff) my sophomore of high school. I always used to hug tiff (long hugs). I used to bring snacks to class, and one day tiff asked me where is her snack? So every since then I brought an extra snack or juice to school. My junior year of high school, tiff best friend was talking in class and I over heard her say that tiff liked her. Even though I had information that she might be bi, I never told her how I felt( I was afraid she would laugh at me and tell everyone). Now (3 years after high school) tiffs in the navy and is stationed in Japan. Now I'm finally feeling brave enough to tell her how I feel. How would you start the conversation? Hey tiff, sorry it took 3 years, however, I just wanted to tell you I always had feelings for you... What do I say/end the conversation if she doesn't feel the same? These last couple of days, this is all I've been thinking about, she's all I've been thinking about. And I have no idea, what to do/say if she did or does have feelings for me? I often question myself, what do I have to offer? What can I say to her to let her know that I'm serious, and that I want to be there for her. But how do I say that without coming on too strong. I stayed up writing a poem about her...
    God, I might not pray to you every night. I might ask you for favors. But, I think I really need you on this one. God, there's this girl I really care about and I think she might be in a relationship. Why would I want to wait tell her I care about her after 5 years? Why, when I approached her all these times I freeze and clam up? Why do I care so much what she thinks of me? That just makes it 1,000 times harder to say anything. So I don't. Every time, I hug you; in one part of my mind.. It's screaming, "just fu**ing say it!". However in the other part of my mind; it's saying "what do you have to offer?" "you're not good enough for her." "You don't have a chance with her." So I believe it; paralyzed in my own mind, I never speak of it. I continue to hug you, and make the hugs longer so maybe you'll question me one day, and I'll speak up. When graduation came, that's the closes I was to speaking up. Thinking " God she's so beautiful, I have to tell before I won't see her again." But the evil thoughts crept in again, "what if she tells her family and they laugh in your face?" "What if you ruin her day?" We received our diplomas and go our separate ways.
    The years go by and I never say a word about it. Not, even to my friends. But these last couple of months, I can't hold it in anymore. Specially seeing you with "him". Seeing your friends saying they hope all is well that he treats you good. Don't get me wrong, I hope he does treat you good. But I can do it better. Call it jealousy, but that should be me holding and kissing you, instead of sitting here missing you, regretting never telling you.
    I want to wake up next to you, have morning sex with you. Damn that, I want to hold you and kiss your tattoos and show that I love and value every part of you. I want to watch you sleep peacefully, knowing that you're safe with me. When the wind blows your hair, I wanna put it back in place. When you cry, I wanna wipe the tears away from your almond eyes; hug and kiss you and tell you everything will be alright. And your mind? Omg, that's the sexiest thing about you(the next sexiest is you being in a uniform ). Even if we can't be together because of distance; I'll face time you till we fall asleep. I text you to tell you things to make your day. If you need me there, fuck it, I'll empty my bank account and be on the 1st flight there. And when I get comfortable, I'm Tryna show off. If my family don't like it, f**k it, but they will respect you. As long as you have my back, I'm good. Just do the same for me. I want you to be my strength and my weakness.
    God please give me another chance to show and tell her this. God let me have a chance with her, please. If you give me this chance I'm gonna take it and run with it. I'm not going to listen to those stupid voices anymore, Imma take what they owe me, and show you that I can fly.
     
  2. idsm

    Full Member

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    Are you still in contact with her? Are you out to yourself/her/others? If you are comfortable in your skin you will probably have less of a hard time getting over her. I unknowingly had a crush on someone for about a decade. Huge fixation that I just never wanted to acknowledge. Now that I have accepted that I am probably not straight, her thought is slowly becoming less and less haunting.

    Maybe start by coming out? And seeing what she thinks about it? Then you can tell her that you are crushing on her. Even if your chances are next to zero, I think that telling her might help you. An outright rejection is a final thing. You really won´t have any choice other than moving on.
     
  3. hopelesskid

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No I don't really talk to her(unless liking her pictures on Instagram count). I'm out to a couple of my friends, and as for family I'd probably never come out to them unless it was a very serious relationship. And I mean I would have to be marrying this woman. I would love to tell her I like her, I just sent a message to her Saturday trying to strike a regular conversation, so hopefully I can tell her how I feel. But she has yet to reply back. My friend thinks she could be busy and that's why she never replied back (she hasn't posted any pictures in 2 weeks). However I think she saw the message and never replied back(but I always assume the worst). I'm becoming more impatient by the day, I just feel like skipping the small talk and just telling her how I feel. What should I do?