I don't know how to put this, but I guess I'm jealous because my sister is in a relationship with this guy and it all seems so easy. I'm currently in a situation where I'm kind of dating this girl but I don't really know what's going on. She seems to be the really casual, relaxed type, while I'm the "I wish we could just declare this a relationship so I can be sure what this is"-type. No one in my family knows I'm bi. I can't just introduce this girl to my family as my girlfriend like my sister was able to introduce her boyfriend because 1) she's not my girlfriend and b) I would have to "explain" my sexuality to my family. I know it's stupid to be jealous of my sister just because it all seems to be a bit easier for her. I guess I'm just frustrated because I feel like everything is more complicated for me than it has to be right now.
It's hard when you see someone else's relationship being so easily accepted and wondering if it can ever be the same for you. I spent Christmas with my mom's side of the family and they're ridiculously accepting of SOs. Both of my cousins brought their boyfriends to family Christmas dinner and all I could think about was how my girlfriend would never be accepted like that. It's natural to be a little bit jealous. As for not knowing what's going on with the girl you're dating, why don't you talk to her? Ask what she's looking for in a relationship. Remember, your relationship is a two-way street. It's okay for her to want something more casual, but it's also okay for you to want to be in a relationship.
Heteronormativity is simply unfair, so it's perfectly understandable for you to feel jealous or unfairly treated. Maybe you could bring up more precisely with the girl you're 'kind of dating' what you want from a relationship right now - it seems commitment is an important thing for you right now, for example? Like Aspen said above, a relationship is a two-way street - that inadvertently means that no one can get exactly all that they want; what's important is that you both have what you need, I would say. That's the most fertile ground for a relationship to flourish on.
Thanks for your replies! I feel a bit less guilty for being jealous now. I think it's so strange that people in hetero relationships often don't even have to think about whether or not they can introduce their partner to others. It seems like the most normal thing in the world. I guess you're right and I should talk to "the girl" to see what she wants. The thing is, I'm afraid that she's going to lose interest or get annoyed because I make things more complicated than they would have to be. I want to be with her and if something more casual is all she can give me right now, I guess I'll have to live with it because it's better than not being with her at all.
