Am I too young to be engaged?

Are you asking here because you're doubtful of the engagement?

If so, you probably aren't ready.

 

Ironically, love is right.
Rule of thumb in this situation is play mock marriage.
Pretend your married for 6 months, are you happy? etc.
My older brother got engaged at 16, and realized it was the worst decision of his life.
And remember marriage is for life.

 

Regardless of age, I personally think that a couple would be wiser to spend more time testing the waters before jumping in.

In every relationship, there is the "honeymoon phase" that lasts several months. Later on, it begins to wear off and both parties begin to notice little things that annoy them about the other. This is particularly after the two have moved in together and are spending every minute together. Oftentimes, moving in together breaks up a relationship.

The test comes when that initial wild passion fades.


Just my take. I don't know you two. It's obviously your decision. Do what is best for you.

 

I agree very highly with ^^. Well said.

While 17 itself may not be too young, I think 2 months is way too fast. You can hardly know anything about someone in 2 months. And I'm not talking about their favourite movies. I am talking really knowing them inside and out to the point where you are comfortable spending the rest of your life with them.

 

I'm going to say yes, you are too young and secondly yes because I don't think you have been in a relationship long enough.

There are people who have made such early relationships work, but a great many more have not. One you haven't finished high school, and two depending on what you each want to do in life, you might not be able to attend the same college after you graduate high school.

Long distance relationships are hard even to old people. But take a moment and imagine you living in one state going to school while your spouse is in another state going to a different school. If either of you get jealous easily, it would be a recipe for disaster.

Marriage isn't something you just dive into and the "happily ever after" bit is just a crock. It isn't 50/50 it's two people giving it 100/100 all the time.

 

I agree with that statement. It's best to know someone longer than that before getting engaged.

 

Yes, 17 is absolutely too young to be engaged. To be very blunt, you're showing your immaturity by even considering taking such a big step at this age. A mature 17-year-old would know better than that.

There is no reason for you to be considering marriage at this age, and certainly not after just 2 months. You don't know this person well enough, and you also don't even fully know yourself. And marriage serves no purpose for you - it's a legal and financial agreement, and at 17, you don't have any kids or property or income to make legal agreements about. It's not something you do just because you think it sounds romantic.

My advice: just *be* with this person. Have fun, get to know her, learn new things about yourselves and each other. You can be committed to someone without being engaged. Right now is the time for you to start figuring out who you are and what you want out of life and a partner. Focus on that. If you guys are still together in 5, 10 years from now, *then* you can talk about marriage.

 

I wouldn't say you are too young however it is very true that the amount of time you've dated is not enough. In the beginning of relationships, there is a honeymoon phase that goes on the initial 3-4 months. During this time, people generally overlook their partner's flaws and are very much in love with them.
It starts to go away eventually and you'll both find minor things you do not like about each other, and things change quite a bit. it is advisable to wait a while after this phase is over and not be too rash.

 

The harsh truth is that you are too young...

There is a HUGE difference between the age of 18 and the age of 20. The transition from a teenager to a young adult is very strange. You become a different person. I can't recognize myself nor my attractions at the age of 17.

The thing is: you will change very soon and that might change a lot of things for you.

 

No. It's not. It doesn't have to be, at least. I am quite... well, not shocked, but almost, that someone as young as you would grow up with this conception? Please know that marriage can be like love, and deteriorates, and regrow later with not necessarily the same people. (Thank goodness it's not a decisive thing.)

As for you, Secondrate, you're not only too young, but also too hasty in your decision. While I have no doubt that you are in love with this person, two months is far too short to know someone, and 17 an age when everything is yet to happen to you. Life between 16 and 25 can be so drastically different, between leaving home, getting an education and/or entering the workforce, perhaps moving town, discovering more about yourself and choosing what you want to do with your life... and sometimes those things just never stop! And that's a great part of life. That's also a very unstable part, in the beginning.

Please reconsider your decision, as you might quickly regret it. Both Crystal and you need stability / a steady track first, respectively and as a couple. Marriage, just like babies, does not bring this stability and you'd be a fool to think it would.
Take your time, get to know each other more, live together for a while if you can, and take time to focus on your respective lives. Now's the easiest time to do so. Don't waste it! (*hug*)

 

Agree with this. Also, I think it's important to live together before marrying someone. You learn a lot from sharing space.

 

Totally agree with this statement. It takes a couple years to truly get to know a person. My brother was in a similar situation where he got engaged after a few months only to end it after a little over a year. Not trying to dissuade you from your engagement, but you might want to consider making it long-term until you can get a good feel for this person.

 

While divorce is always an option, it is not without its consequences. I watched my parents stop loving each other. Now, my mom can't even talk about or be around my dad without making a rude comment. Around the time when my parents were in the process of divorcing, I was depressed a lot of the time. My mom has brought strange men who give me weird looks to her house to replace my dad. If you marry someone with the intent of raising children together, you should plan to stay together for life. Marriage isn't just about two people. It is about two families becoming one. It is about the children you raise together if you choose to. Divorce is always a possibility, but don't forget that it affects everyone involved. Secondrate, please consider all that marriage may entail before you marry someone you've been with for such a short amount of time.

 

2 months is definitely way too fast. This isn't supposed to scare you or anything (and who knows? You may eventually find that your relationship will work and you'll have a happy marriage). But I'd at least spend some time getting to know her. Date for a while longer before you jump into marriage. There's nothing wrong with being engaged for a couple years before you ever decide to get married.

I was with someone for almost two years. And, I'll admit that we actually did get really close to proposing at some point. We were wild about each other when we first started dating and I really thought it would be a forever thing. But as it turned out, it wasn't a healthy relationship. And while I'd like to emphasize I'm not trying to scare you, the relationship honestly turned out to be pretty abusive.

But even if there's no abuse involved, some relationships just don't end up working out. And when you're young, I think it's really important to take things slow.

You might find that you're not all that compatible. When we first get in a relationship, we all go through a stage of infatuation. We're excited about getting to know someone, our feelings are high. There's a strong physical attraction and we're all eager to jump in and take things further.

Two months is definitely not long enough to get past that initial period of infatuation. Once you date for a few more months, really get used to the reality of potential marriage, and both of you have time to think about your future, you'll have a better idea of whether this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. No need to rush. If you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, you both have plenty of time. No need to rush into marriage just yet.

 

I definitely do not think your "to young" to be engaged.

I do think you haven't been dating this person long enough to be engaged-- that should be like 2 years (minimum)

 

Well, you're 17 and you *are* engaged. Facts would indicate that these two things mean the question is a bit of a moot point.

An engagement is a serious commitment. I'd know. I was engaged at 18. Married at 20. We'll celebrate our 25th anniversary next year. I believe you're too young to be *married*, and I'd have cautioned you against engagement as well. I say this having lived a love story you'd think might provide a different point of view. There's no rush. Love is a crazy awesome powerful force. Trust it might last, but know it might not. I'd suggest you give yourselves both time (as in YEARS) before rushing into anything further.