Hi, I haven't posted here in a while because I got into a relationship with a man and got engaged. Only thing is I am still incredibly attracted to women and he knows that about me and he says he's cool with it, but I feel uncomfortable talking to him about my desires for other women. Anyway we are currently living in his country and we will be going back to my country in a couple of weeks. While living here, I may have developed a crush on a woman who is part of some community center we go to. Basically we do activities with other people in the community for socializing and connecting with other people in the area. She and I had a lot of things in common and I felt a warm nice feeling when she would speak to me and I really enjoyed her company. I didn't realize what was happening at first, but then I started enjoying being with her during the class and ignoring my partner. She was soft spoken and I felt like she gave me a lot of attention. She and I exchanged emails and I thought she wanted to meet up to talk about our common interests. Now I am starting to realize that I may have a crush on her. I haven't heard back from her and felt really mopey all weekend waiting to hear back from her. I feel so bad and do not want to tell my partner. He wants me to be attracted to him but I also miss the feeling of a woman and kind of wish I could feel that again. Maybe I'm just selfish. I really love my partner though and we rely on each other a lot. I don't know if I should see that woman anymore or if the feelings would fade away, I probably will never come back after I go back home. I saw another woman I had a crush on and even though I'm still attracted to her, the feelings weren't there as much as they were before like two years ago. I guess I feel guilty for wanting more than my fiance. I love him and I think he is beautiful. But I still can't stop checking out women and wanting to do something more. I don't want to have to choose between men and women!
Stop for a second and picture what your life might be like without your fiancé. Do you think you could live on? Just consider if you truly need him in your life. If so, it is your duty to ignore these women. It may be difficult but it is your responsibility to cut ties as soon as attraction starts to arise. Is it at all possible that your fiancé isn't satisfying you 100% emotionally? Is there some void or a feeling of emptiness when you are with him? It's ok to notice other woman (appearance-wise) but developing feelings for women while married can/will ruin your marriage.
Thanks love23cali for your reply, I really appreciate it. I want to do the right thing and I definitely don't feel it's worth losing my fiance over. I think my fiance has been distant ever since he's had to plan moving in with me. I had a lot more support from him and it's been hard getting used to the changes. I think he realized I missed him and he's being more attentive to me now
