I've been talking to this guy for about 2 weeks and have't met him yet. We talk about really deep stuff and say soppy things about going on holiday together and half-joke about getting married and having kids and stuff like that. He was still always on 'that gay app' though so I spoke to him with a blank profile (bad idea I know) and he said he wanted fun and went on to say about how almost every time with his ex was a threesome and he's been to orgies and loves it. Even worse we had a date planned for this Friday/Saturday and he told this blank profile he was free for a hookup on those days. We both seemed completely smitten with each other before this. Please help! Can I trust him and how can I get over this? :'(
Hello, Well, you already describe him as "slutty"... that's rarely a nice word to say about somebody else, unless it's in a joking tone, and this dude/gal is a friend. Given all the info you provide, I'd say: avoid. Avoid. Also avoid.
While I think peple can move on from a promiscuous phase, it doesn't sound li,e this person is ready to, and most likely you are setting yourself up for heartache. I'd avoid. I'd also consider looking at who you find yourself attracted to... If you often go after people who are promiscuous or emotionally unavailable, there could be an underlying message you are sending yourself that you arent worthy of someone healthy. On the other hand... Pointing out this concern and asking about it is a very healthy sign.
He's prob not in it for a serious relationship. So trust your judgement. I don't mind friends with benefits, but it gets old and the heart really wants what it wants, commitment and love later on down the road. Trust in your heart and if you feel already the question to ask if hes ok to be with, then chances are, hes not.
Working as a bartender in a gay club, I've come across or been approached by a lot of guys and I remember this one really cute guy who frequent the club a lot. I would see this guy all the time and it did not take a mad scientist to realize that he was ...as you say "a slut". I did not judge him and honestly, I had no problem with him and his ways until one night he decided he was going to pursue me. Since I have seen for myself a lot of guys he had hooked up with and some guys I know, I had no interest in hooking up with him sexually. I politely declined no matter what antics he threw at me to entice me...it did not work. All of a sudden, one night, he came in the club but was not acting as his usual self. He came dressed in a suit and tie and looking really conservative than the provocative clothing he's accustomed to wearing. He informed me that he could see himself in a committed relationship with me which made me choke on my drink. I just tend to feel that if you display yourself in a certain manner that people become accustomed to seeing from you, then its going to be very difficult to believe if you all of a sudden decide to make such a drastic transformation and just a couple of days prior, you were having oral sex with a guy in the restroom of the club...haha...so with that being said...like the others mentioned in their threads...avoid..avoid..avoid..
Since you pretty much answered your own question, you can either cancel, or if diabolical, have that "blank" profile invite him for an exclusive, virtual orgy opportunity on Friday, and then he'll cancel for you... (!)
No, no you can't (but if you're like me, and looking for a fuck buddy or friends with benefits type relationship, you just might).
Some people are more geared toward open relationships and promiscuity, and they try to fake monogamy because that's what is socially acceptable for most people (and in some ways just less complex). As others said, if you aren't comfortable, then stop while you're ahead. You had enough info to make your decision before posting this thread.
Here's a live performance of the song "Heartache," performed by by Andrew Ratshin of Uncle Bonsai, at Woodland Park in Seattle 1986 (yes Virginia, I was there). The lyrics are perfect for this thread. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRg0uQGbLnM
I think people are jumping to conclusions too hastily. You mentioned you have a date friday/saturday, but if it's either those days then those plans are not decided and you shouldn't feel so entitled. More importantly, a lot of people use those apps just to get some attention, but it could be all talk. Before you judge entirely, I think you should have a proper conversation with him about his vision of relationships and his past. Talk to him about why he still has the ap, what type of relationship he's looking for, etc, and if he doesn't seem sincere, or is just telling you what you want to hear, or avoids mentioning his past, then you can decide to move on.
