Hey guys, I have met this guy online (he messaged me first) and then we started talking for a couple of days. We live a little far (like 1.5 hours driving), but I do go to the city where lives often since my family members live there. Initially, he asked me if I ever want to hangout with him or go on a date the next time I was in the city. After I said yes, we started texting a lot for a while (about a week). Then, I offered to see him on skype, so we did. However, during the skype conversation, he said that he would be busy the day I was supposed to go to where he lives. The next day, he said that he cannot meet with me right now since "he just got out of a long-term relationship", but he is attracted to me and he is interested in eventually meeting up, but needs some time right now. He also said that if he happened to get back with his ex-boyfriend, he would definitely let me know. We kept texting each other, although not the same amount (it should be noted that he also started a new job, so he was not as free as before). I have strong feelings for this guy and truly feel that, based on what I know from him, he might be the guy for me. I felt we share a lot of opinions. Now, about 4 weeks have passed since he said he needs more time. I was wondering if I should ask him if he wants to meet-up and give us a try or not. I know looking desperate is definitely a turn-off for anyone, so I was wondering if me asking him to meet-up would come across as desperate. Does anyone think we might even have any chance, or he just said his ex-bf stuff to say in a polite manner that he does not like me. Thanks
Hi James! By the look of it, and assuming that he was not lying to you, he is not over his ex yet and is still currently leaving room for this man to re-enter his life if the opportunity presents itself. Under such circumstances I don't think it would sound desperate of you to ask him to meet up, if only to clarify to him what you are looking for, as well as your feelings for him. Make it clear that you're serious about this - I mean, how serious you are, don't ask him to marry you just yet, but... You know? For it to work, you might want to leave out the "give us a try or not" from the "can we meet up?" option. Might make it easier on his part to accept a meeting if it has no implications beyond a talk and a coffee. Which also means that if he tells you he still needs time, then yeah, start to get worried about your chance to get together... Best of luck! (*hug*)
Hi, Thanks a lot for your thoughtful response. Your response did create an additional question for me. In case he mentions that he is unsure of whether he would be okay with meeting up, should I mention to him that I have been in his shoes before, and that he might not really be able to move on until he starts seeing other guys, or is that too clingy? Should I also tell him that I feel a strong attraction to him? Put in another way, given that I really like this guy, should I kind of "nag" him if he says no to the meeting at first, or give him more time if he says so? I know nagging is definitely not ideal in any way, but I feel like I really like this guy, and would really like to, at least, meet up with him. Thanks
