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Can you have a relationship but not be out at work?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by skittleALY, Jun 29, 2016.

  1. skittleALY

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    I've been talking to this girl and we're getting on really great. I really want to meet her and see where it goes, but I'm scared of being out and people that I work around finding out. I work in the sports world, and coach at a high school and most importantly am scared of the girls that I coach finding out. That's happened once before to a local coach and the players that she coached were horrible about it. I'm not one to be ashamed of my sexuality, but at this stage of my career where I'm just getting started I don't think that they necessarily need to know.

    How do you start a relationship when you're in a situation like that? Do I let her know that or? I don't feel the need to hide out when I'm out and such, but just don't feel the need to be letting everyone know - if that makes sense.

    I'm really liking her, but am just scared that I'll get scared I guess - last time I was only talking to someone very briefly my mom saw it and started saying stuff like it would be bad if the team found out and such. I know she was just being protective as a mom, but it definitely freaked me out because of what she was saying...

    Just looking for some support and advice I guess!
     
  2. confusedbubble

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    Does this girl work at the same place as you, you didn't say.

    I would go for it and see where it goes you could tell the girl that you're out to everyone except your work due to just starting and in the field, if she's into you she'll be understanding of your situation.

    You don't have to tell everyone your sexuality only the people that matter to you it's your choice you could refer to her as your partner and leave it at that, as far as I see it America is more accepting of the lgbt community than ever before soi say go for it invite her out and see what happens.

    Keep us updated
     
    #2 confusedbubble, Jun 29, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2016
  3. skittleALY

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    Thanks! That's great advice! I just realized though by looking at her Instagram and a picture that she sent me that she lives over an hour and a half away from me urgh :bang:
     
  4. JonSomebody

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    Within all of my relationships, I've never came out to no one at work and the only people who knew where those whom I am close with and that's all that matters. Everyone do not have to be all up in your personal business.
     
  5. Shorthaul

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    I don't see why anyone at your job needs to know that much about your personal life. Other than general comments about my spouse at work, like what her job is, I don't talk about it at work.
     
  6. Patagonia

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    I don't have to tell you that you are in a very tough spot. Yeah, its 2016. But when you work in education, kids and their parents are not always as enlightened and accepting as you would hope. So, yes, your personal life is no ones business but your own and those you choose to tell. Don't let your love of teaching hold you back from finding your true love. Actually, at this point, having someone far away may have some real advantages. Yes. It sucks. It really does. But, follow your dreams. Be confident in your ability to coach and to be who you are at the same time. Dont think youll have to keep secrets the rest of your life. That would be awful. So yes, for now, you have to pay the bills and you want to get established. You can still live your life without being obligated to tell anyone. Good luck! You can do this!