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How do I tell my friend she is being offensive.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by nightowl88, Jun 30, 2016.

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  1. nightowl88

    nightowl88
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    I am friends with a transgender women in my class and she is extremely sensitive to people telling her off. I only have two good friends and I don't want to post one but she thinks people hate her when they tell her off for something she did. She always says she make make jokes that are offensive because the situation applies to her for example she once said she can make suicide jokes because she was once suicidal and that she can call someone a faggot because she is trans and bi. Since finding out I was bi and questioning my gender identity she has tried making suggestions for me even though I asked her to stop she keeps saying she thinks I'm asexual because I don't understand sexual jokes or like the thought of having sex but at 15 I don't think sex is a big deal because I'm young and have a lot of things still to come for me. She tells me she thinks I'm cis because I have the ability to put on makeup without a mirror and sometimes I act more feminine. I was wondering if anyone could help me talk to her so I don't make her mad at me but she knows that she needs to stop acting like that. Usually I wouldn't have a problem talking to people in these situation but I struggle with her sometimes because she because really sedative really fast.
     
    #1 nightowl88, Jun 30, 2016
  2. RGEm

    RGEm
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    I would try one of two things:

    1) Try to tell her as calmly as possible that she is offending you.

    or 2) Since the above option probably won't work in this situation, maybe you could write a letter or message. She's more likely to read all of it before getting sensitive than in an actual conversation, so she might be able to understand what you're trying to tell her if she's reading rather than listening.

    I hope this is good advice? I'm not really sure how to handle these kind of people either tbh. Normally I just ignore them, but since this person is a good friend, this probably is not a preferable option.
     
    #2 RGEm, Jun 30, 2016
  3. nightowl88

    nightowl88
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    Thank you for the message idea I hadn't thought of that.
     
    #3 nightowl88, Jun 30, 2016
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