Hi, I am in a bit of bother.. So I have been on and off with an ex for about a year now, and recently I have moved far away so we're off because distance just won't work for us. I have recently started to talk to a guy. He's nice cool etc, and we've met up 3 times. I originally just wanted him as a friend as I'm leaving this town after Christmas. However, today we kissed and I'm feeling a bit guilty. I'm 20 and he's 17. I don't know what to tell people! Is it normal for a guy my age to start something with a 17 year old? How do I tell my ex? I'm so confused and just need some advice cause I know my friends and family will hate it and I just need an outside perspective. Thanks guys
First off, what country are you in? Age of consent laws really do vary by country. BUT, and this is a huge one, in a lot of jurisdictions, the age of consent is 18 and I really doubt that so-called Romeo/Juliet laws are going to be a lot of help in your case. My advice? Step away for a while and wait until your beau turns 18. I'm sure he's nice, I'm sure you have chemistry. But the fact of the matter is, unless you live in a country where the age of consent is under 18, the age gap is dodgy.
That's only 3 years... I suppose if you have your parents approval, but it really is not that big of a gap. Considering my parents are 11 years apart, and grandparents similarly so.
^ Okay, if that's the case, it shouldn't be too bad. I'm just from the US and we're 18. The idea of a 20 yr old dating a 17 yr old still makes me feel weird, so I apologize. But as far as age gaps go, 3 years isn't the worst. Personally, I've never been with a sexual partner who wasn't at least 5 years older... And I'm 21.
So 3 years is not a big deal in the long run. The gap is acceptable. The dodgy end, as was so eloquently stated, comes from the ages of 17 and 20. Personally I think you have to really think about the emotional state of both you and him are in. At 17 I was not ready for a relationship and the weight that carried despite the words that came out of my mouth. But that being said I am sure some 17 year olds are, but that emotional development has to catch up. At 20 I think you have to ask yourself is it him you really want, or just someone to be close to? I mean this in the nicest way possible. However would urge you you to consider who is more likely to bear the consequences should things go sideways.... you who has had a relationship or the 17 year old who is setting out for the first time. Food for thought.
A couple years isn't damaging, but I can see how you could get into some legal issues because of his age. Then again, every country's legal age is different.
