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My homophobic mom

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bi4pride, Jul 3, 2016.

  1. bi4pride

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    Location:
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    Hello!

    I'm bisexual, and I live with a VERY religious homophobic mother. I haven't come out to her yet. (If I did she would probably roast me on a stick.) My mom thinks that the shooting in Orlando was very fortunate and she said that "This is the only way to get rid of gays." My sister Gaby is gay and my sister Francesca is bisexual. I'm extremely worried about the safety of my sisters and myself. Any Advice?

    Peace Out! :thewave:
     
  2. Jax12

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    Don't come out unless it's safe to do so, that's the number one rule above anything else. When the time does come to tell your parents, make sure you have a backup plan, like a friend who can help you, or a place to stay should it get to that point.
     
  3. Hunter8

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    OP, I'm sorry to hear that your mother made such callous comments about the Orlando shooting. Considering what you're dealing with, it couldn't have been easy for you to hear that. I will say one thing, my friend. I am a Christian, and I assume that is the faith your mother shares as well. But PLEASE do not think the majority of Christians feel that way about Orlando. We grieve for the lives lost as much as anyone else does, and we uplift the suffering in our prayers. The bottom line though is that Christians are often times very imperfect in imitating the love of Christ to a world in desperate need of it. We fall very short in living up to the Ideal.

    That being said, I firmly believe that your mother does love you very much. A lot of Christians find it easy to state opposition to homosexuality when it appears safely far off from them. But when a member of their family goes through it, suddenly it all becomes a lot more personal. Just know that Jesus loves you, OP. Lean on Him when you feel worn, and He will give you both guidance and strength. His love will get both you and your family through this challenge.
     
  4. JonSomebody

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    I think the biggest mistake I made in my life was coming out to my mom in private. She became suspicious because she noticed that every time I visit, my boyfriend would call constantly throughout the visit to make sure that I was still there. (He was very insecure). Anyway, she promised me that she would not tell any of the family members and that it will be my decision if and when I was ready to do so. However, not too long after leaving her home, she told all of my siblings and from that moment on, I was not welcome to any family gatherings, birthday dinners, etc. One time, I got into this huge fight with one of my homophobic older brothers while visiting a friend in their neighborhood and my mother lashed out at me and told me that she wished I was never born and how she should had flushed me down the toilet because I grew up to be such an embarrassment to the family. Initially, I was very heartbroken and wanted to commit suicide. However, my boyfriend at that time whom by the way was much older than I was became a mentor to me and guided me through those rough spots to becoming a strong individual who learned to embrace and love the person that I was and to create a "family" with the parents of friends who were accepted by their families and they loved and cared for me as if I was one of their own.