I'll try to summarize this to make it short and detailed. I have been questioning for a while now, but I really couldn't figure out why (guessing close to a year). i am a 23 year old male and have always been attracted to girls and I still am so I guess that rules out me being completely gay even though I still worry about it. My problem is that I can't get any clarity and constantly worry if I am attracted to men. I've never felt turned on by a guy in real life and whenever I "check" them out it is always to try to determine if I'm attracted or not. I tried to test myself by looking at gay porn which I know isn't a great indicator and I don't enjoy watching it, but there has been a couple times that it has produced a reaction. I have also tried to masterbate thinking about guys, it seems difficult to pay attention to the thought of it and feels very uncomfortable although there was some amount of a reaction. I don't desire to be with any guys. I have never had fantasies about guys besides the ones that I have come up with to test my reaction or lack there off. I do enjoy straight porn and lesbian porn. It is easy and enjoyable to fantasize and masterbate about women and it's what I have always done. I become easily sexually aroused with women, although I do have some performance anxiety going on. It could be contributed to questioning or could not, I'm not really sure. I want to know if this sounds like genuine same sex attraction or if my anxiety and worrying is clouding my thinking. I know nobody can for sure tell me what my orientation is, but any input would be appreciated. Thank you
From what you've explained here, it sounds like you're straight. What I'm not sure is why you are questioning? I hope this doesn't come off as sounding rude, but to me it sounds like you are forcing yourself to question it. Was there some event where you were unexpectedly aroused by a guy? Are you not feeling connections with females? It sounds like it's just a curiosity of like what would it be like to be gay? But not true feelings... Also, the other thing to realize about homosexuality (or any sexuality) is that it's not all about getting off during sex. It's about the romantic and emotional connection you form with someone. It's not about what type of porn you enjoy or if you like anal sex, it's about who you truly develop intimate feelings for.
It doesn't sound rude at all. Sometimes I would think about it when I was stoned and get really anxious, but didn't give much weight to the thoughts because they seemed irrational. About a year or more ago I took some stuff that was basically steroids and sent my hormones all out of wack and I began obsessively questioning without ever getting clarity for more than a couple days or less. ( I don't want to say that is the reason for it though because I don't really know) I have never felt aroused by a guy in person or really any other time besides a slight erection to some kind of sexual homosexual media and that isn't something that always happens. With girls I still feel attracted to them sexually, emotionally and romantically, but I can't get past my confusion
