Long Distance and Open Relationships

If this isn't the relationship you were looking for, you should leave. With the rough patches, it's going to end anyway. I get the impression you have to walk on eggshells when communicating with him. Who needs that. He's having his cake, and we'll you know the rest. My LDR is about to end, and it's my second LDR, you can't trust them. They're always hiding something, or have to date outside their country, because they're too unstable to find anyone local. Lesson learned.

 

Aww, I am really sorry that it becomes hard for you to cope with an open relationship at times. In my opinion, I think it would benefit you to think about other options in regards to whom you date. I think the problem that someone in an open relationship faces is the possibility of your loved one falling for someone else. It doesn't help that you have anxiety which I can sympathize with you on because I have pretty bad anxiety as well. The insecurity that you might feel at times will only feed your anxiety and over time that may end in the downfall of the relationship. Many things to consider and I wish you luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

It seems like you are having a hard time dealing with this, which is understandable. We all love one another in different ways and have different needs. It's important to realize that your needs should not become secondary to your partner's. There are others who share your values, and I think in the long run it is probably best to find someone like that instead of continuing down this path. I'm afraid it may leave you hurt and traumatized, but I don't know much about your relationship. For the meanwhile, communicating your anxiety to your boyfriend is important. If he's not willing to listen and accommodate some of your needs, then this definitely will not work.

 

I totally agree with the other comments, I have never been a fan of long distance and open relationships. Everyone that I knew who have dealt with these kind of relationships have always been met with bad endings. I was really good friends with a fellow bartender whom I lived upstairs over them in this big old house. I later found out that he and his boyfriend were in an open relationship. One weekend, they decided to have this dinner party where they invited a group of people over. For some reason, I could feel it in the air that they were wanting me to be a part of their situation, but I wasn't sure yet. Once the dinner party ended, I stayed around to help them clean up. All of a sudden, they both started going in about how they love being in an open relationship. The guy who works with me grabbed me and started kissing me deeply in the mouth while his boyfriend was watching. I immediately pushed him away and then the boyfriend pulled me back and told me its okay to go for it.

It was not too long after that we all were naked in the bedroom and the both of them were all over me. Initially, I was still quite nervous with this situation and they kept telling me to relax that everything is cool and just enjoy what was happening. Eventually I did but I did not put my best effort forth still. Apparently, my performance was good enough for them especially the friend I worked with because a day later at the club, he grabbed me with a huge hug and told me that they really enjoyed what happened the other night and wanted to do it again.

His boyfriend came into the club a little later and he too came behind the bar and gave me a big wet kiss and whispered he wanted to do it again which we did...many times over..haha...it became a two year situation between us. However, what I began to notice not too long after we started this on a regular basis is that the boyfriend started to show irrational attitude towards me. One night, my bartender friend came to my door butt naked and started taking off my clothes and then grabbed my hand to take me down to their place where his boyfriend was waiting on us. Soon after...there goes that attitude again. This time I grabbed him and took him into another room to talk and ask him what's the problem? He informed me that as many times as they have shared guys within their relationship, I was the only one that he began to have an issue with because when I am having sex with my bartender friend, he gives off responses and body language with me that he has never done with him and better yet no one else. He also said that he can tell that my friend was having feelings for me because he notices how he looks at me while at work when I am not paying attention or to see the two of us having sex does appear as if we are a loving couple instead of them.

In order to keep the relationship intact, he did not want me to stop having sex with them because at this point, if my friend have sex with me then it also meant that it would have a better effect when they did...if you can understand or comprehend with that. Therefore, for awhile, I did continue with them...but I also began to see a lot of what he was telling me in regard to my friend and his body language and reactions towards me. Therefore, I took matters in my own hands and decided to put a lot of distance between the three of us and began to date other guys. My friend did not like this and began to show a lot of jealousy especially towards any guy that I was talking to at the club. I am going to skip a lot of other details just to say that although they finally came to terms that I was not joining them anymore in their little party, they did find another partner but things were not the same between them and they eventually broke up and went their separate ways. My friend and I are still good friends to this day. He is one of my best friends.