I spent 15 years with someone who didn't deserve me. A liar, a cheat, a truly disgusting excuse for a human being. Sadly it took over a decade to find out what a horrible person she was. I spent thousands on therapy trying to save our relationship, and between working hours I stayed drunk. After 5 years of mourning for this POS, I got my act together, and met who I thought was a good person. Turns out this girl is an immature, backstabber, with low self-esteem, who is incredibly judgemental, but can't handle criticism. So, I'm pretty sure she's gone too, and me and my bottle are best buddies again.
I am so sorry for you. :icon_sad: First of all, whoever these terrible people were, they didn't deserve you. You are an amazing, beautiful person, on the inside and the outside. You will get through this. Guaranteed. However, alcohol is never a good way to solve a problem. You will stay stick in a rut if you continue with this. What I recommend is to get off of the alcohol and keep looking. You thought the new person was good, so you are at least looking for the right people. Most likely, this was just a coincidence. You will find someone who is a good person. Someone who loves you who isn't an asshole. You cannot let two assholes ruin your life. You will get through this, no matter how sad you feel. You can do it. Hope that helped. Best of luck. Also, this is just my two cents. I think it is sound advice, but depending on your situation, it could be bad. The point about alcohol still stands, though. Never a good idea to drink your problems away.
I hear ya. I struggled in my teens with amphetamines then I found someone who I thought was the love of my life, I cleaned up my act and got married and well ... Long story short it was a disaster. He didn't deserve me and I was destroyed. I fell back into addiction for a solid 3 years after that and I'm FINALLY 3 months out of my withdrawal. I was able to stop self medicating again and I put it all down and moved on. But I had to do that, I had to go through that addiction cycle again to learn from it as strange as that sounds to some people. It's easy for people who don't understand addiction to say "can't you just stop?" We know it's not that simple. It's never that simple. But dont give up and don't lose hope! I encourage you to feel those feelings that maybe you don't want to face right now but to heal you will have to eventually.
You can still be happy even if you are not in a relationship. This advice was given to me more times than I could remember and I always silently rolled my eyes because the people who told me this were all in happy healthy relationships so what did they know? But apparently my way was not working so I had to change my mindset. It is hard with society constantly reminding you if you are not in a happy long term relationship, you are worthless and nothing else you have achieved counts because 'you have no one to share it with'. Well prove them wrong. It doesn't mean you have to give up on finding someone. But I see a successful relationship the same way as a successful career, most people want it and some do get it. Regardless of whether you get it or not, you do not have to be miserable in the process. Drinking less or giving up drinking is very hard. Gosh I wish I didn't have to know that. I don't know how much you are drinking or whether it is really disrupting your health and daily life. But if you think it is totally out of control, maybe you can find an AA type support group to begin with?
