I came out to my Mom a few weeks ago. She says she'll always love me, no matter who I want to be with. But I don't know if she's being sincere. She kept telling me "but it's subject to change, however." And she told me of a lesbian friend who eventually went on to men. I feel mocked and invalidated, why else would she say that unless she doubts me, or wants me to change? I keep telling her Ive been in love three times before. She said to me, "you don't know what love is, love takes hard work and care, like me and your stepdad." What she was describing wasn't love- she was describing what it meant to have a relationship, but love is a feeling. "What you're feeling is INFATUATION." Infatuation still means a crush, right? She's downright trying to deny my feelings! And when I tell her that, she says, "No, I'm not!" I remember when I was little I had a fake boy "crush", and I told her about that. She would babble on and on about "OOH, who is it? Tell me more." That one never actually meant anything to me. But she didn't try to deny THAT one. >:/ she didn't try to convince me "you're too young!" WITH THAT. I'm angered, obviously. Do you really think she takes me seriously? How can I convince her? Because everything she's said really worries me, what if I really am going through a phase?...
How old are you? You could try asking your mom how she knew for sure she was attracted to only men to make her really consider what does sexual orientation mean. Also, since she used to babble about boy crushes, why don't you mention girl crushes and ask her why she doesn't say "Tell me more." Ultimately, seeing is believing, so try to continue coming out and doing what other people around your age are doing in terms of having crushes and dates. Don't wait for your mom's acceptance to live your life. Your mom is going to have a hard time thinking "it's just a phase" if you are going out with other girls!
There's a lot that could be going on. She might not be taking you seriously. Or she might be worried about the problems you could face because of your sexuality. Either way, I doubt she'll change overnight. But don't let her keep you from living your life.
When I came out to my dad he said "are you sure?" and "Wouldn't you have known before if you were gay". Then he jokingly asked if it was because I was hanging out with one of my friends who is gay too often which did lighten the situation. Then he said it doesn't matter and I would figure it out. I was kinda pissed at first that he didn't take me serious then I remembered that I have bad anxiety and he may have thought I was freaking out about being gay and that he was trying to keep me from having a full blown mental breakdown. (We work together and it probably wasn't the best location to tell him) I have not really addressed it since with him though. I had the same experience in college though where my friends wouldnt believe me when I came out, so maybe I am not convincing or I should teach tips to stay in the closet haha
Tell her that she doesn't know she's attracted to men if she's never been with a woman. Tell her of all the straight women you know that go on to experiment with women. You have a stepdad? Ask her why it didn't work out with your birth father, and tell her that It's not love because she already ruined it once before.
