So I'm 24 and he's 21. We've only started hanging out since January, but we've become super close. My last relationship was with a guy. I'm a private person and especially after my last relationship I don't open up easily. He really put in effort to get to know me on that level and so I came out. I told him I was bi and he's straight. Everything has been awesome since then, and we're closer than even family. Although I am bisexual, Im not romantically in love with him, but physically I am into him, and i love him in a lot of ways, but not the I want a relationship way. Since we’re so close, we always horse around and play fight and grab each other’s nipples but never each other’s dicks. So the other night we were sitting on the love seat at his house during a house party, and we were both pretty trashed and it was pretty dark because people were starting to go to sleep. And me and him are touching each other tickling each other fucking around like we always do. And then he puts his hand up my shirt and starts playing with my nipple in a different way, so I go to do it to him and he stops me because the way we were sitting the other people could see it. So I put my hand down and he grabs it and we interlace hands. This was so crazy cuz I knew this was feeling different than what we usually do, all of the sudden he starts rubbing my chest and my body under my shirt, and he puts his hand on my dick over my jeans and squeezes it. Im tired so I go to his room to sleep,and he comes up to help me get settled. And he pulls out his Dick, and we sucked eachother for a few mins, before he had to go back down. He said he's been wanting to do that for a long time And That he liked it and I told him I did too. It was hard to do more since all these people were there. So the next day I give him a ride to the store and he was like nothing ever happened. And I’m kind of quiet because I have so many emotions in my head. He asks me if I’m okay and I go yeah I’m okay man, but it was obvious I was lying. Then he was with the whole yo that party was crazy fun but I don’t remember a lot of it. I was fucked up and I go yeah dude It was hella fun from the bits and pieces I remember. So today he messaged me that he wants to hang out and drink but I had to work, so we’re planning on doing something on my next day off. Idk how it’s going to go. I’ve thought about it for our whole friendship and we’ve said I love you to each other tons of times, but I wouldn’t say I’m in love with him romantically, but sexually yeah I have looked at him and always fantasized about us messing around. And I definitely want to do it all again and more, it’s just crazy thinking about it. I am worried about our friendship getting ruined, but we can leave things like this and still be boys I wouldn’t mind having a friend with benefits.
If you can't stand acting like nothing happened, I think it's best if you talk to him about it. I'm pretty sure he is confused and want to talk about it as well, but no one seem to dare to take the first step. If you're as close friends as you say you are, I highly doubt it will ruin your friendship. Just go for it and talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. Perhaps it actually makes your relationship to each other stronger? I wish you the best of luck!
The relationship sounds... fairly casual. If you two can keep it that way and want to be friends-with-benefits, good for you! Still, I suggest you try setting those boundaries early on in this new "friendship", because if you just want it to be a casual thing and he's looking for something more, things might get a little heated, and not in a good way!
