Married Man on the DL and full of drama

Hello:

I want to share a real life situation with the forum. When I first came out as a gay man, I met these two guys: Mark and Ryan while visiting a gay dance club for the first time. A female straight cousin that I was with had introduced these guys to me because she felt that Ryan and I looked a lot alike, which we actually did. Over the years, my friendship with Ryan had grown immensely where as Mark had enlisted in the Air Force and spent the majority of his adult years in the service. Therefore, our friendship did not develop in the manner of Ryan and I. Throughout the years, there had been conversations that Mark was a confused bisexual man and had dated women in order to appease his family. There had also been talk that he actually married a woman during the early years in the Air Force and whenever he would get the sexual urge to be with a man, he would take quick trips out of town to visit gay friends where he would hook up with guys at local bath houses, etc. and then go back home to his married life.

Although Ryan and I had kept in touch with each other through out the years off and on, I never had any contact with Mark with the exception of information about him that was shared by Ryan because they still kept weekly contact with each other. Well, last year, Ryan contacted me in regard to him making an upcoming visit and since Mark had moved back to town several years earlier, he wanted us all to get together and hang out for the weekend. Once this weekend got underway, we had decided to meet up at a local restaurant in my neighborhood. I had noticed throughout the luncheon that Mark would be staring at me which kind of made me feel a little uncomfortable. However, there was a moment when Ryan excused himself to go to the restroom and this is when Mark complimented me on how great I looked which made me pushed his staring at me under the rug so to speak.

The last evening before Ryan was leaving town, we all went to dinner, to a gay club where a lot of guys that they had hung out with years ago had shown up which took the fun up to a whole new level. Throughout the evening, it became quite apparent that Mark was letting it be known to me that he had interest in me in more ways than one.The evening concluded with all of us going out to breakfast. Needless to say, despite his interest, it was a very fun evening. Now, the reason Mark's interest caused concern for me because he had revealed to me that he and his wife had been married a little over 20 years and as far as he was concern, she was not aware of him liking guys and he kept confessing how much in love he was with her. With that conversation, I was pretty baffled as to how he thinks that after all of these years, she does not have a clue about his creeping with guys all of these years.

Anyway, after Ryan left, Mark wanted to keep in touch with me which I had no problem with as long as he understood that I just wanted to establish a platonic friendship with him and nothing else out of respect for his wife and myself because I did not want any parts of his DL lifestyle. Unfortunately, Mark began to show signs that he wanted more than just friendship from me which resulted in him calling me several times a day while his wife was at work or away from their home. Furthermore, whenever I was not home, he would continue to call me or text me until I respond which led him questioning me about my whereabouts or whom I was with. When I confronted him about his behavior, he responded by saying that he was developing feelings for me but he would never leave or divorce his wife because he loves her a lot. I wasted no time mentioning to him that I do not feel the same about him in regard to feelings and I just wanted to maintain a platonic friendship and nothing, nothing more. Did I mention that he was a married man?????

To make matters worst, he had mentioned several times that Ryan seemed to have an issue with he and I hanging out which I never understood why this was a problem and whenever I bought this up...he would respond with don't worry about it and nothing is going to stop him from hanging out with me. His behavior and response led me to believe that he was telling Ryan something totally different than what was actually going on between us which was nothing...NOTHING!!!!!! Also, he mentioned that his best friend Darren was concerned about us hanging out too. Nonetheless, Ryan stopped contact with me as well. Although over recent years, Ryan and my friendship was strained from no reason on my part and not without me making many attempts to reach out to him with no response or action from him which also led me to give up altogether and leave him alone where I was really surprised that he wanted to visit me and meet up for the weekend. Therefore from these recent events, I decided to cut off contact with all involved especially Mark. Back in March of this year, I got a phone call from Mark informing me that Ryan had passed away. It was revealed that Ryan had been ill for a long time. I had heard things in the past about this and whenever I had confronted him about this, he had been lying about the status which also led him to keep a distance between us.

Ryan was laid to rest by his longtime partner which by the way, I have never met or spoke to in the town that they reside. I found out that there were a lot of people who were attending that I did not know...but they knew about me from lies that Ryan told them about me. This was very hurtful to me because I had never, never done nothing but been very loyal and very supportive to Ryan over years despite the b.s. that he had shown me throughout. Due to so much deceit and drama by these people, I was not invited to the funeral which was fine by me and I just remembered him the way I chose to by focusing on some of the good times we've had during the early years with my private memorial to him.

A week ago, Mark texted me that he was on vacation with Darren and would like to know if he and I could meet up when he return. Now that I shared my story...for all of you who took out time to read this...I want to thank you because I know its pretty long winded but I had to make sure that with in depth details, you would get an understanding of my situation. So...responses would be greatly appreciated...JS :lol:

 

First of all, I want to thank you BeeLee for responding to my initial post. However, to answer your questions; I do not want to see him again and furthermore, due to everything that has happened, I can't see myself having a friendship with this guy. I have a huge problem with guys like him who wants to have his cake and eat it too by living double lives and the wife is left in the dark so to speak...Not cool!!!