Can you Hate,a Lesser Hate

Typically I don't like talking about myself in front of people, by that I mean I have made one too many people cry.

Still, something has to be said:
My parents are leaving me, I don't know how I am so calm right now, I don't know why I would still be able to laugh right now, and I don't know if I can still be held accountable right now; but I do know something terribly wrong has happened. It's official blood is greater than any level of adopted love.
Let's explain, my Father who raised me from 2 months old, was never truly my father. He never really treated me like I was his child and never really showed love or compassion toward me. I buried those feelings, but I saw it everyday; then my younger brother who was actually his biological child was born. Now they where thrust at me every single day.

Moving on my Mother left to Spain with a new man, recently married; and despite me getting abused, mistreated, starved, kicked-out, and sent to prison; she was still better than my father. Not because my father did something even more outrageous but because he did nothing, at all; ever for me.

And today I was supposed to move back with my father after spending time in P.R., sadly it was not meant to be. First off my Father lied about going on a flight to come, he lied about booking a flight, when asked how long he would keep me waiting he replied "Keep waiting". Then I got a call in, no not with him; with my younger brother who happened to be on the phone and answered. What does my dad do? He hangs up the phone; on me his child. Then he answers again and starts talking about unemployment rate here, I'm casually saying "Wtf is wrong with you" in my mind before finally he goes for the heart strings. I asked if I am going to live with him? He replied "Only my family lives with me" then he hung up the phone. Please note this man has not had a girl friend in 3 years and has mostly lived alone. How fucking astonishing. I was crushed, not physically though; physically I was about to crush-- him to pieces. I am infuriated, but nonviolent, I suppose this is the calm before the storm, but my mother echoed his words. Both parents refuse to let me come back. They sent me with my grandparents out of the blue, and I can see they took advantage of the situation. Any thoughts?


((Fun Fact: Suicide is becoming more enticing, how fucking crazy is that; me! I hate self harm... look what life brought from those lemons.. :roflmao: ))

---------- Post added 12th Jul 2016 at 01:14 AM ----------

They say blood is thicker than wine, well I suppose that means my biological parents attachment is thicker than the material attachment; wine. Ironically my biological father whom I haven't seen since I was 2 months old; has made his entire life effort to finding me and has officially found me; and wants me back.. and at what a time..