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How to Politely Tell Someone Off

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BreakinDaylight, Jul 12, 2016.

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  1. BreakinDaylight

    BreakinDaylight
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This girl, I used to be best friends with her but eventually I grew tired of her not being there for me so I ended the friendship. She let her boyfriend treat me like crap, she treated me like crap, she outed me to her transphobic and homophobic grandmother, she ignored me every time she got into a new relationship, and she made barely any effort with my name and pronouns.
    Cutting off our friendship felt like a gasp of fresh air. I've been doing so well without her. I have advanced classes in school so I don't have to see her either.
    The only place I have to deal with her at is Color Guard. (Color Guard is basically that flag team that performs with the marching band.)
    I haven't been able to make it to Color Guard practices recently due to my college study program. Tonight I made it to one of the practices, and I was glad because that girl wasn't there. Then I talked to the coach...

    Turns out the girl outed me to the whole team. :bang:
    The coach and team don't really mind, but they're not going to make an effort with my name and pronouns. The coach promised not to let the girl bully me at practices at least, but still, I'm pissed she outed me.

    After she outed me to her grandma, I explained how that is absolutely not okay and how she shouldn't do that. I thought she understood but apparently not.

    So please tell me how to politely tell this girl off. I'm worried that if I don't word things carefully enough she'll go crying to our coach. I feel like our coach will side with her too because she's not an emotional trans mess like me.
     
    #1 BreakinDaylight, Jul 12, 2016
  2. Stoccata

    Stoccata
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    Well, given all the shit she did, I'd say you have the right to not be polite. ;-)


    In all seriousness, I'd just have nothing to do with her. And if she asks why, explain it to her. If she still acts like an asshole you should just plain and simple tell her to fuck off. Let your coach know if she's still harassing you during practice if he doesn't notice it.
     
    #2 Stoccata, Jul 14, 2016
  3. INTJ

    INTJ
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    My advice is be the mature one and politely pull her to the side and explain to her that what shes done is unacceptable and how it made you feel. Sometimes people don't always realize what they are doing and it is not always malicious. Rather then confront and possibly exacerbate the situation, try and resolve it peacefully. Get her to see your point of view and I'm sure she will come around and apologize.
     
    #3 INTJ, Jul 14, 2016
  4. BreakinDaylight

    BreakinDaylight
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks for the advice y'all. (*hug*) (*hug*)

    I'm going to talk to her and explain how outing people is not okay next time I see her. Maybe this time she'll listen.
     
    #4 BreakinDaylight, Jul 14, 2016
  5. Ram90

    Ram90
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    And people wonder why we have a hard time coming out. (*hug*). I hope she'll listen to you this time BreakinDaylight.
     
    #5 Ram90, Jul 14, 2016
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