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My Boyfriend Doesn't Take Me Seriously...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BlondeRose91, Jul 15, 2016.

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  1. BlondeRose91

    BlondeRose91
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So a little about me... I am a 25 year old bisexual woman. I have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I have known that I am at least bisexual for a very long time and I have had plenty of experiences. Most of the time I do tend to feel that I lean more towards being a Biromantic Homosexual (Let's just say BRHS for short), however It's always tough to figure it out because I am a bit of a serial monogamist. I have never really been attracted to a man physically, simply emotionally. I love me boyfriend so much. He is my best friend and I couldn't imagine a life without him. However, he doesn't believe that I can be bisexual if I am in a monogamous relationship with him. We hardly ever bring up the topic. (TMI warning) The reason I believe I am BRHS is that whenever I am aroused or feeling sexual, I always think about women. I have a very difficult time even thinking of my boyfriend during sex. Usually I just get lost in the foreplay, but as soon as we start that main act I instantly think of a woman wearing a dildo. Asides from the sexual side of our relationship, everything is amazing! However, the only time that we exchange any sort of affection is in the bedroom. This is the longest I have been in a relationship with a man without wanting to dive off a cliff... I am worried because he doesn't believe my sexual orientation is correct simply because we are monogamous towards each other. I am also worried about how long this will last until I completely crave women. Typically I will just watch porn with women to take the edge off, but I truly do believe that I am a lesbian in a relationship with my best friend. I know many people would probably say I am bisexual or a fake. But the thing is that we don't have sex that often and when we do my mind automatically thinks of a woman fucking me (Especially since we don't talk or say anything during sex). I would really appreciate any advice. I am always very open with him about how I feel, but this is the one thing that we can't really discuss...
     
    #1 BlondeRose91, Jul 15, 2016
  2. Miri

    Miri
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
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    Some people
    To be honest, you really do sound like a lesbian to me. Of course, only you can know your orientation in the end, but your story sounds like a lot of lesbians out there: realize you like girls, freak out, slowly accept it, but identify as bi anyway because of social pressure and compulsory heterosexuality. Heck, I even identified as bi for a while before coming to terms with the fact that I honestly had no sexual attraction to boys, just the potential for good, close platonic and emotional relationships. To this day, many of my closest friends are guy friends and I have wonderful lovely relationships with them, but since there's zero sexual attraction to any of them (or any other boy I've met), I would never consider myself a bisexual.

    As for talking about it with him, try to ease into it gently, but don't conceal the main issue. Dancing around it for a long time will only make things worse. You did say he's your best friend, so if anyone is going to take this well, it's going to be him. Trust that he'll trust you, and go on from there.

    Best of luck!
     
    #2 Miri, Jul 15, 2016
  3. BlondeRose91

    BlondeRose91
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    Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it! The thing is, whenever I try to discuss anything LGBT related he avoids it because he doesn't really believe in it...
     
    #3 BlondeRose91, Jul 15, 2016
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